


DAY OF THE BARNEY III: SPECTRE

by kolbdog



Series: Day of the Barney [3]
Category: Barney and Friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-06
Updated: 2013-07-06
Packaged: 2017-12-17 21:25:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 21,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/872125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kolbdog/pseuds/kolbdog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Third part of the trilogy and there is a sequel to the trilogy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

* Earth, 65 million years ago, Mesozoic Period.

The air was moist and hot, titanic green plants rustling in the breeze.  
Primordial cries and calls filled the valley, as tall, lumbering behemoths  
nestled near the lake shore. At the water's edge, large clusters of crested  
reptiles knelt down to sample the lush, cool grasses growing out of the water.  
Further away, upon the sloping crags and knolls, stood the flesh-eaters.

But one particular carnivore was not occupied with eating. Not for the  
moment, anyway. This particular creature, whom scientists eons later would  
label Tyrannosaurus Rex, was eyeing a small patch of earth very intently.  
Buried under the dirt rustled her hatchlings, cracking open their egg-casings  
and clawing for the open sky. There were about six in the litter, and as the  
last one struggled free of its shell, the mother dinosaur nodded intently,  
satisfied at their emergence. She instinctively lowered her head and sniffed  
each infant. The smell was fresh and healthy for all of them, but she  
hesitated.

The first five baby tyrannosaurs were lanky, scaly creatures with bright  
yellow eyes and mottled grey and green skin. The sixth was...different. The  
mother leaned closer, examining the last infant dinosaur with a suspicious  
gaze.

The tiny baby tyrannosaur stared back at her. She felt an instinctual  
loathing, but wasn't sure why. This particular newborn had definitely been  
hatched from her litter, but it had very little in common with the rest of its  
siblings.

It was purple.

The mother tyrannosaur reeled back, confused and afraid. The purple baby  
gurgled and smiled. She hesitantly approached it again. She then noticed that  
besides being purple, it was smooth, chubby, and had dead, empty eyes. And  
when it smiled, which was often, it had a sinister, threatening chuckle that  
startled her and the other newborn tyrannosaurs. The mother was struck with a  
sudden urge to crush the little beast under one of her heavy, taloned feet, but  
her maternal instinct kept her from doing so. At least for the moment.

* * * * * * * * * *

Under a sweltering sky filled with the fading rays of the sun and swarming  
pteryodactyls, the two giants roared and lunged at each other upon the marshy  
field. The tyrannosaurus rex kept herself away from the thick, knobby tail of  
the ankylosaurus, who squatted below her, wary of her massive jaws filled with  
jagged sharp teeth. Around the edges of the field, a lone triceratops and a  
pack of lambeosaurs watched.

The battle had lasted for several hours, and both opponents were  
exhausted. The tyrannosaur realized that if she couldn't feed her children  
soon, they may starve or wind up devouring each other. With a final effort,  
she lunged towards the ankylosaur and snapped at its head.

The armored dinosaur turned away and slapped its hard, bony tail into the  
firm thigh of the flesh-eater. She growled in rage and whipped around toward  
the front of her opponent, her flesh sore and broken where it had been struck.  
She flung her powerful leg over the shell of the ankylosaur and clasped it over  
the edge, just above its hindquarters. She yanked it towards her, flipping the  
foe onto its back and knocking it breathless. It desperately flailed its thick  
stumpy legs in the air, trying to right itself upon the ground, but it was a  
futile effort. The next moment, the tyrannosaurus bore down upon the exposed  
underbelly of the ankylosaur and ripped out its entrails. In a spray of blood  
and bone, the tyrant lizard claimed her prey and roared in triumph. The sound  
echoed throughout the valley and hills, resounding her victory.

It was not much longer when she returned to her nest, dragging a large  
chunk of the ankylosaur's flesh towards her hatchlings. The baby tyrannosaurs  
chittered busily and scampered upon the bloodied morsel, and the sounds of  
their eating pleased the mother. Then she looked upon the purple one. It was  
not eating. Rather, it was staring blankly at her and smiling. She growled  
back as a retort, but it did not appear to faze the fat, stocky creature. She  
turned away and helped herself to the rest of the meat.

* * * * * * * *

At a neighboring nest, a styracosaur was facing a similar dilemma. Though  
she too had given birth to a fine litter of hatchlings, there was something odd  
and unsettling about one of them. It was a female creature, with starry blue  
eyes and a high, squeaky call. Unlike its siblings, it had smooth green skin  
and bright pink dots. It also walked about on its two hind legs, not on all  
fours like the rest of the family. It preened and giggled constantly, and all  
of the other babies in the litter ignored it, as if afraid. And while the  
styracosaur-mother had sharp, spiky horns, it noticed this one did not. In  
fact, she wasn't even sure it was of her kin.

She went about her way, the newborns following after her, munching on  
ferns and flowers. Other styracosaurs in the herd raised their gaze at the  
family, then stared at the green, bubbly one at the end. They too, were  
feeling a great deal of discomfort and insecurity.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Dawn rose and the mother-tyrannosaur rose from her slumber. Her gaze  
rested upon the litter. She noticed that many of the hatchlings were now able  
to run quite steadily through the dense brush and many snapped at the flies and  
gnats that filled the dense air. She shifted her gaze uneasily upon the fat  
purple dinosaur, who sat on a rock, rocking back and forth, smiling serenely at  
the yellowish sky. She had noticed it had not even eaten once, but was still  
plump and growing rather rapidly. She began thinking more and more of plodding  
over and wrapping her jaws tightly around its firm belly, she found it easier  
to fight the maternal instinct given the loathsome nature of this purple  
miscreant. Had she not been staring so intently at the purple baby, she would  
have noticed a green, bubbly creature faintly resembling a styracosaur  
approaching the knoll.

The purple infant began giggling and smiling even more when the green  
dinosaur appeared alongside it. The mother tyrannosaur reared back in alarm.  
The mother styracosaur, who had been searching for the baby green freak, came  
upon the scene and reacted likewise. As the two behemoths watched in rapt  
fascination, the purple and green dinosaur faced each other and began an odd  
call. It was a series of sounds, repeated over and over in a continuous  
rhythm, and as they continued, the two newborn creatures clasped their hands  
together and began swaying back and forth. A song and dance.

Moments later, the sky turned a turbulent red, and volcanoes began  
erupting with unbridled ferocity. Lava and smoke spewed into the sky. The  
ground shook, causing great cracks to emerge and forests were shattered into  
splinters. Cries of confused and frightened dinosaurs filled the air, and a  
tremendous heat began to build in harsh intensity.

The mother tyrannosaurus fought to approach the purple and green lizards. She  
was filled with an immediate desire to kill them and rip their flesh  
off of their skeletons. But as she struggled, she became aware of a more  
immediate menace and looked towards the sky...

Steadily approaching the earth blazed a gigantic, fiery orb. The light  
was blinding and the heat incredible as it broke the atmosphere, igniting it  
and causing a tremendous upheaval in the soft surface and rolling oceans. The  
next instant it exploded against the earth's fragile crust.

The tyrannosaurus was thrown off of her feet and she roared in fear and  
confusion. The entire valley was filled with the cries and howls of terrified  
and wounded dinosaurs, many who stampeded blindly into the center of the  
explosion, which had sent a billowing, rumbling column of smoke and fire into  
the violent sky. Great clouds of dust and debris began darkening the horizon,  
and as the tyrannosaurus struggled back to her feet, she noticed with great  
dismay her newborn children, dead on the ground. They had either been trampled  
to death by panicking herds or suffocated by the intense heat and debris. She  
bellowed in rage and despair, then fixed her gaze upon the purple and green  
dinosaurs below her. She lurched after them, but suddenly found herself  
gasping for air. Her lungs began to burn and swell from inhaling the hot dust  
and smoke, and within seconds the mighty giant fell to the ground and died.

By the end of the day an eerie silence had fallen upon the land. The sky  
was a mosaic of blacks and blues, clouds rolling in fantastic patterns over the  
landscape. Dust and ash gently floated in filmy clouds upon the surface,  
lightly coating the dead and dying bodies of dinosaurs. The temperature had  
fallen rapidly and some of the marshes had begun to freeze over. A faint  
breeze whistled mournfully through the racked forests, and off in the distance  
an unusual sound was heard. At the edge of the valley two stocky figures  
waddled off into the distance, hand in hand, singing the very song that  
preceded the comet's impact....

I love you, you love me, we're a happy family....  
With a great big hug and kiss from me to you, won't  
you say you love me too?

* Earth, Meditteranean Region, 19 A.D.

The little boy was tempermental, uncontrollable, and rash, thought the  
servant. It was hard to believe he could grow to become one of the Empire's  
leaders. How often the child would run about waving a toy sword, stomping  
about in his riding boots, ordering ridiculous commands at her and the others.  
And they once believed that he was a fine young man, a boy destined for  
greatness and leadership. But that was before the appearance of the so-called  
demigod, "Barnicus". After his arrival, the youth took on a more sinister,  
unbridled behavior that the servant feared would cause great hardship for the  
people.

She quietly peered into the next room, to observe the boy playing with  
Barnicus, a fat, squalid, and _purple_ beast loosely wrapped in a green toga.  
Since his mysterious arrival at the palace, the future emperor and the chubby  
monster had played for hours on end, singing mindless little tunes and  
performing perverted little dances. It was surely this creature, this  
demon-god, that had warped a promising youth into a future madman. It would  
weigh heavily upon Rome when this child took the throne.

"Dulcinus," whispered a fellow servant, "we must prepare for tonight's  
banquet at the throne room. The boy will be alright."

"I wish that were true, Nera," she replied. "but I have great fear for  
the empire. Ever since that Purple Beast arrived with his little green  
companion, I fear our precious Caligula has been corrupted ."

 

* Southwestern Europe, late thirteenth century

The little boy was lonely, he watched the sailors unloading the boats from  
the distant countries. Various spices and metals were taken from the bellys of  
the great ships, and the child wondered if he would grow up to become a great  
sea-traveler. His thoughts were disoriented when a small, fuzzy rat came  
scampering down the rampway towards him.

His father told him to kill any rat, since they ate precious grain and  
ruined various cargo with their foul droppings. The boy kept his eye on the  
rodent and grabbed a heavy stone off the ground. He raised it high above his  
head and-

"Now hold on there, little boy. Don't you know it's not nice to hurt  
small animals?"

The boy turned around, and saw an immense, grinning purple beast.  
Alongside stood a smaller, green dinosaur with thick lashes and pink dots.

"Who are you?" asked the child, lowering the stone.

"Our names aren't too important right now," giggled the dinosaur, "what is  
important is that you learn that all animals are special and can even make  
great pets!"

Suddenly the two creatures began singing a little tune about the love and  
affection a housepet can give, all the while dancing gleefully about the dock.  
The little boy looked on, entranced.

When they had finished, the little boy said, "I believe you two are right.  
I'm not going to kill this poor little rat. In fact, I'm going to sneak him  
into my house and feed him grain and milk!"

"Why that's wonderful!" bellowed the fat purple beast. "And as it gets  
older, it'll share love and affection for you, though not as much as I have for  
you. Let me sing another song for you, my little friend".

The boy listened on in rapt attention as the two dinosaurs sang:

I love you, you love me, we're a happy family....just collect  
more rats and give them a home, you'll find a love you've  
never known....

"I just loooovvveee little pets!" bubbled the smaller, green dinosaur,  
cradling her blanket. With that, she and the purple dinosaur leant down and  
hugged the little boy. They fondly waved good-bye and quickly disappeared  
behind the huge stacks of cargo.

The little boy picked up the rat, and several others on his way home. His  
heart was filled with joy and happiness, he hoped he would see the fat purple  
creature (was it a dragon, maybe?) again. When the boy got home, he crept to  
his room and let the rats loose upon his bedding. He immediately got bread and  
milk to feed them, and soon the small pack was gurgling happily, their scaly  
tails draped lazily over the boy's thigh. A moment later, the boy felt an  
itch. Did these rats have fleas? Or lice?

The Black Plague swept through Europe like wildfire that season. Hordes  
of scaly rodents feasted upon the diseased corpses and countless millions died  
within a short period. It would become one of the greatest disasters in  
recorded history.

 

* Northern Europe, early 20th century.

The corporal scrambled madly through the trenches, the Allied troops were  
closing in on his position. He had no weapon with which to defend himself, and  
most others from his regiment had already successfully retreated from the  
charge that threatened the entire encampment. Biplanes bearing the Allied  
insignia flew overhead, doing battle with triplanes emblazoned with the Iron  
Cross. All signs showing that World War I was coming to a gradual end.

The corporal looked behind him. In the distance he could see dozens of  
olive-clad British soldiers filing through the trench. It was likely that he  
would be caught, possibly killed. Many Allies had a certain deal of resentment  
to unleash upon the Germans.

Suddenly, the corporal was lifted off his feet and yanked behind a  
collapsed munnitions shed. He turned around and to his surprise saw a huge,  
stocky purple dinosaur smiling at him.

"Now just be quiet," whispered the blubbery beast, who was clad in a grey  
trench jacket and spiked helmet. "Follow me and I'll get you back to your  
regiment."

The astonished corporal nodded and followed the huge purple reptile. The  
two of them wandered through acres of barbed wire and foxholes, until they  
could hear the distinct rumblings of trucks and tanks in orderly retreat.

"There you go, friend!" said the dinosaur. "Here are your friends,  
pulling back to Germany. It's too bad that you have to be on the losing side".

"Maybe for now," grumbled the corporal. "But maybe one day I'll make the  
orders. My country is in ruins, but I'll bring it back on its feet and make  
those guilty pay for our suffering. We won't be beaten for very long".

"Well that's a wonderful attitude!" reeled the purple creature, exposing  
his clean, wide teeth. "You certainly are a stuuupenndousss sport! I wish you  
luck, and want you to know I _love_ you." And with that, the purple beast  
hugged the corporal, who looked a bit uncomfortable with the gesture.

"By the way, who are you and why did you save me?" the moustached man  
asked.

"Private Barney at your command, sir!" chirped the dinosaur, snapping to  
attention and saluting. "I saved you because you are my special friend!"

"Thank you, Herr Barney," replied the corporal. "My name is Adolf  
Schicklgruber. But I have grown weary of that name. You may address me as  
Adolf Hitler. And soon I will make my mark upon the world, I promise."

 

* North-central Europe, early twentieth century

The little girl had known of the war for quite some time; sometimes she  
heard the distant buzz of bombers high overhead or saw the occasional flare in  
the distance. She was part of a big secret though, that she kept to herself  
and within the family. Well, actually there was someone else.

She had spent so many months in the upper attic, sheltered from the rest  
of the world and fleeing oppression. Yet it was a lonely existence, which is  
why she was so happy to have a magical visitor come to her recently. He was  
big, fat, purple, and always so cheerful, and the two spent many hours singing  
and dancing. But not too loudly, as they might be discovered. Occasionally he  
would bring his green companion, who talked like a three-year old and had a  
high, squeaky voice. Who ever they were, she was glad they were there to keep  
her company.

Just that night her fat dinosaur friend, Barney, had talked to her about  
secrets. Why was her existence so hidden from the rest of the world? She  
couldn't really tell him, only that this way she and her family were safe. He  
laughed and said friends never keep secrets from each other, especially when  
they really, really, _really_ loved one another. Finally, she gave in and told  
him who she was, what their family was doing stored up in an attic, and what  
her hopes and desires were. He hugged her and thanked her for being so honest  
and open, and for the moment, she felt good too. But then he left shortly  
afterwards and hadn't been back since. That was just last night.

Suddenly, there came a pounding at the door. She was alarmed. Was it her  
purple friend? He had never approached from the attic entrance before. What  
was it and why were her parents so terrified?

The door was suddenly kicked in, and a squad of black-uniformed men came  
in. Sirens rang from outside. The man in front, brandishing a 9mm luger and  
swastika said, "If it wasn't for our informant, we'd never have caught you  
miserable bunch!" He laughed cruelly at the little girl and dragged her  
downstairs.

Anne Frank and her family were separated and shipped away from their  
native Holland. Anne was never seen again.

 

* North American continent, later twentieth century

Kids nation-wide flocked to the TV screens and watched the premiere of a  
whole new PBS show, "Barney and Friends". The show peaked in ratings and  
millions poured in as children watched the antics of a fat, purple dinosaur  
named Barney and his squeaky, child-like green companion Baby Bop.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Years later, Barney performed a live concert broadcast from Washington  
D.C.. During the show, he incited children everywhere to riot and kill any  
person over the age of twelve. In the resulting holocaust, children became his  
unwitting servants and Barney reigned supreme from the former White House.  
Baby Bop was put in charge of overseeing the Purple One's secret nurseries,  
which bred deplorable mutant creatures known as the Loved Ones.

After several years of absolute rule and dominion, Barney and Baby Bop  
were killed by Jeremy Phillips and his sister, Fran. Both had been marked for,  
respectively, execution and impregnation, following their thirteenth birthdays.  
Jeremy escaped his execution, rescued Fran, destroyed the nursery, and shot and  
killed Baby Bop. Fran killed Barney while saving her brother from his  
murderous talons. After the incidents, children and surviving adults reunited  
to refound civilization, completely free of the Great Purple Beast and his  
minions.

 

Or so they thought.


	2. Fossils

Jeremy Phillips sat back in his chair, feet propped upon the table, his  
eyes glued upon the news. On live TV police were busy lifting a colorful,  
drenched, serpentine creature out of the river. Upon resting the body upon the  
banks, one investigator lifted the creature's headpiece off, revealing the  
bloated and pale young man inside.

"This is Barbara Stanford coming to you live from the Potomac River, D.C.  
where police have just discovered the remains of Tony Lopez, found dead in the  
costume that made him famous to children all over the country. Known to many  
as "Derrick the Dragon", Lopez is the fourth kid's show emcee found murdered  
in the past five months..."

The phone rang. Jeremy's wife Lana lifted the receiver and handed it to  
him. They both knew who it was.

"Hello?" said Jeremy.

"Kee-risst! Jeremy, are you seeing what I'm seeing on TV right now?"

"As a matter of fact, Bill, I am. Four in five months. How's Reggie  
handling it?"

"He's pretty shaken, I mean, like, who wouldn't be? We're taping a show  
right now, I guess he's doing okay with the kids and all. How about coming  
down so we can talk after today's run?"

"Sure, I'll be there within the hour." He hung up and looked over at  
Lana. "Bill's running headless about this murder thing. I need to go down and  
keep him and Reggie calm. Tuck the kids in for me, will you hon?"

"No prob, dear," she replied, sitting up and straightening her blouse.  
"It's almost their bedtime anyway. She leant over and kissed him. "Don't be  
up too late, now."

"I'll try," he replied, and made his way out to the car. The station  
wagon sputtered and farted black smoke, then chugged its way down the quiet  
lane.

Jeremy Phillips had seen quite a few strange things in his thirty-four  
years. He had lived through the Age of Barney (a.k.a The Purple Holocaust),  
which he felt could prepare him for anything. Once he had found Lana, fathered  
two beautiful children, and landed a job as a programming consultant for a  
childrens' television station, he thought he could put it all behind him. But  
he had an uneasy feeling something was afoot. He parked his car at the station  
and walked into Studio C, filming area for "Chester Owl and Friends".

Reggie was downing a glass of bourbon, still wearing his owl costume,  
when Jeremy walked in. He looked up and mumbled a nervous hello and stared  
ahead at the wall. Bill, the director and co-producer of the show approached  
Jeremy.

"There are only so many more kid-show hosts in this town," began Bill.  
"If they don't catch who's responsible, Reggie may be next. Then what? No  
more Chester Owl and television grants!"

"Let's get him out of town for awhile," whispered Jeremy. "We can carry  
the ratings on a few weeks worth of reruns. Kids love Chester, they'll get  
along fine until he gets back."

Jeremy never thought he'd be consultant for a kid's show, of all things.  
Not after the horror that the Purple One had brought upon the world. But then  
Jeremy had figured that the whole problem was not a kids' show, but how it was  
done. It was his idea to have the emcee be modeled after a real creature, not  
a mythical or extinct one. The owl symbolized wisdom, common sense, and most  
kids liked the feathery, wide-eyed features of Chester. But most importantly,  
Chester never made false gestures of love or unconditional acceptance. This  
set him apart distinctly from the Beast of Purple, who had used such gestures  
to sway and warp children's minds until they were programmed disciples. Not to  
mention Chester didn't giggle excessively, smile idiotically, or talk in a  
moronic fashion. It was these qualities that had gained "Chester Owl and his  
Friends" tremendous praise from critics and families alike.

But now the recent kid-show murders had put a damper on things. First  
victim was Melissa Mouse, who was found beaten to death under one of the prop  
pieces for her show. A few weeks later came Magical Merlin of the Wonder  
Universe, who was pushed down an elevator shaft in his own apartment building.  
The last one before Derrick the Dragon was Doogie Dog, who had been run over  
by a heavy diesel truck. Who was doing this and why was anyone's guess; Jeremy  
was absolutely clueless.

Moments later they got Reggie into a van, the venerable owl was quite  
inebriated but insisted on driving home on his own. Jeremy demanded that he  
call upon getting home, then the next day they'd book him for a flight back  
home. As the van drove off, Jeremy and Bill became aware of someone else in  
the studio. They looked up and met the blistery gaze of Thorton Marshall, one  
of the creative consultants of "Chester" and the least liked employee of the  
staff.

"Take it easy now," he said with a mild sneer. He walked down the  
stairwell and fixed his thick glasses upon the two men. "I was just watching  
the great creative genius at work. Such concern you show for your employees,  
Mr. Phillips. Pity those other kid-show creatures didn't have you around,  
most may be alive today. But I imagine if you have the gall to blow away some  
fat purple dinosaur who never did you an ounce of harm I suppose-"

"What the hell are you chiming on, Marshall?" said Bill, his wrinkled brow  
flashing red. "How many times do I have to tell you never to bring up that  
bloated sack of-"

"Sorry, just forgot," smiled Marshall. "You know, Jeremy, there are quite  
a few people out there now who claim the so-called Great Act of Love and the  
Purple Holocaust never occurred. That it was all fabricated, and you are one  
of the biggest liars around."

"You are absolutely pathetic, Thorton," stammered Jeremy. "Get out now if  
you want to have an office tomorrow. One more word out of you and you can kiss  
your poorly-earned paycheck goodbye!"

"Point taken, Mr. Phillips," said Marshall, backing towards the rear of  
the studio. "I don't know what made me say such terrible things." The next  
instant Thornton had gone downstairs.

"You gonna be okay, pal?" asked Bill, resting his hand on Jeremy's  
shoulder.

"I'm gonna be fine".

"Let's go grab a small bite and drink," suggested the older man, "then  
we'll call Reggie later on and see if he made it back okay." The two went  
outside and down to a roadside tavern.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Thorton Marshall was by definition, a fanatic. Not drugs, not cars, not  
women, not even money. Though he was rich, he didn't exclaim his wealth upon  
such material items or possessions. Rather, he was an eclectic gatherer of  
forbidden objects, items that were banned or prohibited from cultured society.  
When he had heard his two co-workers leave, he scampered down to the vaults,  
where voice/retina access scanners opened up his private cache. He leeringly  
fingered the contents inside, and pressed them tightly against his face and  
body in the darkness of the deserted studio. He lit an antique torch and  
looked the doors outside the vault. Again he cradled himself against the  
vault's contents...

A plush, purple Barney doll. A Baby Bop blanket. Several pirated Barney   
and Friends videos. A "Barney's Greatest Hit's" CD. Barney balloons, lunch   
boxes, tote bags (with the infamous lead paint), books, comics, figurines,   
party favors, and of course, the ever-lovin' Barney SONGBOOK and TAPE. He   
pulled out a recorder and placed the tape in. Syrupy, flimsy music chimed out   
of the speaker and flooded the vault...

I love you, you love me, we're a happy family, with a great  
big hug and kiss from me to you, won't you say you love me too?

"Yes, yes, oohhh Gooddddd, YES!! I love you Barney, I love youuuuu!!"   
squealed the man, reeling in orgasmic frenzy and sweating excessively. "Oh do   
I love you, let me love you for now and forever, my friend Barney, be mine, be   
mine forever!!"

The next instant, Thorton Marshall shrieked in ecstatic abandon and   
collapsed to the floor, unconscious.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

It wasn't until he saw passing motorists' amused expressions that Reggie  
realized he was still wearing Chester Owl's bodysuit. Damn, he thought, how  
embarassing. Still, he was almost home and then he could let his bosses know  
he had made it home okay. In some ways he hoped the police could be more  
available, the idea of an armed patrol surrounding his house sounded  
comforting.

Suddenly, he felt the car lurch from under him, and he heard a tremendous  
hissing sound. The van fought him for control and weaved into a thick old tree  
by the side of the road. The collision shook Reggie out of the seat and onto  
the floor. When the dust cleared, he picked himself up and went out to review  
the damage. Both front tires where shredded to thick shards of rubber.

"Damn, damn, why now?" grumbled the emcee. As he was ready to start walking  
home, he saw a pair of headlights approaching in the distance.

Within seconds a huge purple van had pulled up alongside the wreck. There   
were two people (?) in the front, but it was so dark Reggie couldn't make out   
their features. The driver seemed to be pretty obese, though.

"My goodness, it appears that you're in a wreck!" said a low, dopey voice.   
It sounded faintly familiar to Reggie.

"Good drivers and passengers always wear their seat-belts!" giggled   
another voice. It was oddly familiar as well.

"Uh, hey, do I know you guys? Maybe you could give me a ride home or  
something?"

"Why, absolutely!" chirped the bigger passenger. "I sense you and I are   
going to be Special Friends. And do you know what I want to give you?"

"Uh, look man, all I want is a ride, I don't need any gifts," muttered   
Reggie, who was still trying to remember where he had heard that voice before.

"I want to give you a stuuupppeeennnddouuuss hug! Then we'll take you   
home, won't we?"

"Oh yes, I weally like to wide in cars!" squeaked the shadowy passenger.

"Oh cripes, let's just do it. Here's your hug and let's go..." the man   
walked over to the driver's side and leaned into the window. Fat purple arms  
enveloped him and Reggie caught a glimpse of gleaming, perfect white teeth. On  
the passenger's side beamed a pair of bright blue and starry eyes. Weren't  
there a couple of dinosaurs on television a long time ago who had-

"Oh God, let me go you fat purple bastard!"

The man was pulled in through the driver's window, his legs thrashed  
desperately against the door. His cries were quickly drowned out by the sound  
of ominous laughter and as the immense white jaws closed upon his head, all  
sound was drowned out as his skull was crushed and chewed to hard, grainy  
chunks. The two passengers feasted upon the dying man's twitching body, and  
were someone to observe from a safe distance, they might suspect they heard  
singing....

I love you, you love me, we're coming for Jeremy...it's been  
so long, I hope he doesn't mind, Barney has an axe to grind....

An hour later the purple van drove off into the night, leaving a puddle of  
blood and feathers upon the road. Meanwhile, at the young man's house up the   
grade, a telephone was ringing into the dead silence.


	3. Veil

Jeremy Phillips and his co-worker Bill were shown the remains. Had it not   
been for the bloodied feathers and the wallet left behind, no one would be able   
to even remotely guess that they were of Reggie Middleton, formerly known as  
"Chester Owl". The two men stared at the grisly pile of flesh, speechless.

"It's like the poor fellow was chewed by some giant dog or something,"   
said the coroner, replacing the sheet. "What we can't figure out is how the   
bites are so clean and sharp. When a dog or other animal devours food, the   
bites are ragged, torn, and uneven. But not this one. In fact, the bites more   
closely resemble those of a person with perfect teeth. But no one could have   
jaws as wide as that."

As Jeremy and Bill walked back to the car, Bill muttered, "It's over. No   
more Chester Owl, and probably no more kid shows for a long time. We can stand   
by reruns for awhile, but there's no denying the media will jump on this one.  
I've got a statement prepared already, it's just a matter of finding a  
respectable reporter who isn't going to have every family in America scared to  
death."

"It won't be hard, Reggie's death was the most horrendous," replied   
Jeremy, scratching his neck. "God, Bill, what kind of creature does a thing   
like that to a man? His head was chewed to bits, not even a full dental record   
could be obtained. We're dealing with a homicidal maniac or deranged animal of   
some sort, and the police should be notified. How many kid-show emcees are   
left in the area?"

"About five more, assuming they still want to go on the air. There's   
Flubbo the Clown, Ricky Rabbit, Sally Strawberry, the like. I think they're   
all pretty much into revised contract negotiations, bargaining for more   
security."

"You know, there was a time where a certain kid's show host would look   
great getting his skull broken and chewed up on the air. "

"Only you were too young to know better," chuckled Bill. "Jeremy, how you  
survived that killer dino is beyond me. Then again, I'm glad I survived  
myself. However, what Marshall said yesterday is true, I'm afraid. There are  
some skeptics, all young and cocky as hell, who are saying the Purple Holocaust  
never occurred."

"I know," said Jeremy, unlocking the station wagon. "But that's the price   
for removing all evidence that it ever occurred. Every Barney song, video,   
toy, and suit has all been outlawed and burnt. We're not talking censorship,   
Bill, we're talking about keeping a lethal beast from Hell away from our   
children".

"I think Marshall would like to put the fat purple ass back on the tube,"  
grumbled the older man. "His kind scares me. Where is he today anyway?"

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Thorton Marshall called the receptionist, and said he wasn't feeling right   
and would be gone all day. Actually, he was calling from the basement of the  
studio and hadn't felt better. Upon hanging up, he gleefully made his way back  
to his secret vault and foraged through his forbidden collection of Barney and  
Baby Bop paraphernalia.

He slid a copy of "Barney and Friends" into the VCR and watched enraptured   
for several hours. Occasionally he had to stop the tape as he would begin  
hyperventilating and spastically wriggle in perverse glee at the purple  
dinosaur's antics. More than once he would wrap his arms around the television  
set and smother the screen with kisses, or he would caress his plush purple  
Barney doll softly and lovingly.

"Barney, Barney, oh my one and special friend Barney," cooed the   
middle-aged man, his thick glasses steaming over. His hot sweat drenched the   
little doll and he would teasingly wrap the Baby Bop blanket over its eyes,   
playing "peek-a-boo" for several hours more. Finally, once he had exhausted   
all possible yet unspeakable pleasures from the videos and doll, he collapsed   
upon the floor and eyed the tall wooden box in the corner.

It was time.

The man rose and began tearing away his clothes. Stripped bare, he flung  
himself towards the box and unlocked it. Upon seeing the contents the man  
sighed loudly then giggled. With a child's glee, he hurriedly slid into  
the Barney costume and donned the headpiece.

"Our fun and learning never ends!" he cackled.

* * * * * * * * * *

Lana sat on the couch, watching the news. The anchorwoman announced the   
death of Reggie Middleton, and the newscamera rudely focused in on the poor   
man's remains. Lana disgustedly turned away from the screen and decided it was   
time to check on her children, Stacy and Mark. She didn't know where Jeremy   
was; he had missed dinner and hadn't called to say where he would be. She   
checked her watch and decided it was time to put the kids to bed. Maybe   
afterwards she could call Jeremy's sister Fran and see if she knew what became   
of him.

* ** * * * * * *

Fran sat before the gravestone and placed the flowers upon the cold,   
marbled stone. Jeremy had told her that one day she would have to get over it   
but she couldn't. She had hoped for so many years that they would find their   
parents alive and well following the Purple Holocaust, yet when the phone rang   
it wasn't them. It was the coroner who had discovered their remains in a   
destroyed section of Baltimore.

The couple had been shopping in a toy store when the Great Act of Love  
occurred. Packs of frenzied, mindless children had broken through the front  
doors and made off with every available Barney toy they could find. And, true  
to the spirit of the Great Act, they killed any adult they could lay their  
clutching hands on. All the coroner could say to console Fran and Jeremy was  
that it appeared to be quick. But she could never forgive herself for being so  
swayed by Barney; at least she was there to pull the trigger when Barney  
attempted to kill her brother. She could still feel the recoil of the pistol  
and the sight of the bullet disappearing between the fat reptile's shoulder  
blades.

She sat another moment in silence and made her way out of the cemetery.   
When she got back she could call her boyfriend, then maybe drop a line to   
Jeremy and see how he was doing in light of the whole kid-show murders. The   
radio blared the violent and gruesome murder of Chester Owl, she wondered who   
would be so cruel and insane to do such a gruesome act.

* * * * * * *

"I'm not sure if this is going to work, but it's worth a shot," said Bill,  
holding the recorder and portable television. He walked ahead of Jeremy as the  
two men made their way down to the vaults.

"The resolution on the players are pretty good, I think we stand a chance,"  
answered Jeremy. "We gotta see what Marshall's been into down here, and I  
could care less about company privacy. He's up to something".

On Jeremy's cue, Bill turned on the television and the recorder. He hit  
"simultaneous play" for both machines and faced them towards the retina/voice  
access unit for the vault. Thorton Marshall's wiry, bespectacled face appeared  
on the screen, and the player muttered, "Thorton Marshall".

The two men held their breath. The access unit hummed and scanned the   
screen. It chirped and green lights began flickering. The next instant the   
vault door unbolted and slowly pried itself open.

"Hot damn!" whispered Bill. "I knew Marshall's video resume tape would   
have merit someday!"

Jeremy nodded in agreement and the two men stepped into the vault. Jeremy  
beamed the flashlight and stared aghast at what he saw. Bill gaped in  
disbelief himself.

Barney and Baby Bop paraphernalia littered the floor, covered the walls,   
and hung from the ceiling. Every available doll, book, toy, party favor,   
video, and clothing known in existence. In the center of this disorder stood a   
tall, empty box, it's latch undone and its contents...gone.

"That sick S.O.B," muttered Bill, "he's got a whole stockpile of Barney   
crap down here. "

For Jeremy, it had been years since he last saw a Barney doll. The sight   
of it made him feel creepy and hollow inside. Just twenty years ago, he used   
to sleep with one just like it. Staring into its dead, evil eyes made him  
shudder. He picked it up and hurled it against the vault wall, where it  
bounced back upon the floor.

"Call the police," said Jeremy. "We've got a lunatic collecting forbidden  
material here."

* * * * * * * * *

Lana looked back in the bedroom. Stacy and Mark were fast asleep, tucked  
firmly into their beds. When Stacy turned seven next year, she'd get her own  
bedroom. Mark, who was five, would probably like the idea. They were  
beautiful children; she thought Jeremy had done a great job being a father for  
them. She blew the two children a kiss and went downstairs to make herself  
some dinner and watch TV.

Moments later, the children were awakened by a curious scratching at the  
window. In the faint moonlight they could see a curious silhouette pawing at  
the latch. The two kids stared at each other for a moment, then steadily  
approached the figure. Upon a closer look, they saw it was a fat, smiling,  
purple dinosaur. It was smearing blood upon the glass.


	4. Masquerade

When Jeremy returned home, the lawn was dotted with blaring, flashing   
police cars. Investigators were combing the yard and surrounding area, making   
out what they could in the harsh glare of strobe-lights and high-beams. Lana   
was inside, talking to the chief investigator. Jeremy came in and embraced   
her; she was shaking and her face was wet with tears.

"It happened sometime in the last hour," she stammered, "go up there   
Jeremy, tell me what you think..."

Jeremy slipped past the flimsy tape barricade at the foot of the stairs   
and went up into his children's bedroom. A few photographers were just   
leaving, having shot a few good rolls of film. Jeremy surveyed the scene,   
dumbfounded and afraid.

Blood was spattered against the window, thick, scabby prints impressed   
upon the glass. No breaks, however, it seemed that the window (which was   
always kept closed at night) had been opened voluntarily, not forced. There   
didn't appear to be any signs of struggle, though the blood was evident of some   
foul play. And then, as Jeremy's eyes fell upon the beds, he hesitated, then   
shuddered. He backed away from the object propped against the pillow, aghast.   
He left the room, never lifting his gaze off the hellish figure that was left   
behind, either as a message, maybe a warning.

It was a Barney doll.

* * * * * * * *

"Mr. and Mrs. Phillips, I know things don't look exactly bright at this   
moment, but I have reason to suspect your children may be unharmed", said Chief   
Davies. He scrunched his brow and adjusted his glasses. "The blood found on   
the window was smeared on the _outside_, and our lab techs just finished   
analyzing it. It doesn't match the blood types of your kids. Rather, it   
matches that of Glenda Pattikin, also known to her viewers as "Melissa Mouse".   
She was found dead tonight in her studio, bit in half at the waist. The time   
of death was about a full hour before your kids disappeared."

"Meaning that who ever is killing the kid-show emcees is now kidnapping  
children?" asked Lana.

"It would appear that way. The only real connection is that Jeremy here   
is a consultant for children's programming, maybe it's a statment of some sort.   
But to date, we've not received any calls or messages demanding ransom or   
making any clear declarations. But rest assured you two, the whole force is   
out tonight coming the grounds."

"There...there was a doll left at the scene," said Jeremy, still feeling  
uneasy.

"A Barney doll, yes, I saw that," said Davies. "I understand you are the   
one who liberated the children during the Purple Holocaust?"

"Yes, my sister and I pretty much killed Barney and helped reunite the   
children and adults. I think who ever did this has it in for me because of   
that. Earlier my friend Bill and I ran across some Barney and Baby Bop   
memorabilia in one of my employee's personal vaults. Name was Thorton   
Marshall. Any word?"

"We got your call and sent out an APB on the man, but we haven't turned up  
anything. Reasonable to guess that this man may be the killer, though  
nothing's circumstantial. Do I understand right that you saw an empty box in  
the vault?"

"Yes, right in the center of the floor. Nothing in it, I don't know  
what he'd have in there."

"My hunch is that Mr. Marshall had a costume in there. If he was a  
Barney-fanatic, enough to keep practically every toy, book, and CD there,  
chances look good he'd have a costume as well. If he's not parading around in  
a purple lizard suit, he may be dressed up as Baby Bop. I'll call dispatch  
right now and alert the force."

* * * * * * * *

When Fran heard the news, she left her dwelling immediately. She didn't   
want to be left alone, and terrifying thoughts swelled back in her head.   
Visions of Barney and Baby Bop, the hordes of scampering, blubbery Loved Ones,   
the murder of thousands of adults....

She stepped on the accelerator and made her way toward Jeremy and Lana's   
house.

It was only a few blocks later that something caught her eye. As she   
waited for the green light at the intersection, she saw something large and   
puffy dancing in the city park. At first she couldn't tell what it was, but as   
it passed under a dim streetlight, it's fat purple body was perfectly   
illuminated and Fran felt the blood pumping through her temples. She slammed   
the pedal against the floor and spun the car after the big bloated reptile.

The car knocked trash cans and small bushes into the air, and the vehicle  
rocked and swayed over the uneven ground. It wasn't until her headlights were  
right on the creature's back that he seemed to notice her. Suddenly the chubby  
dinosaur screamed in terror and began running away. His fat, stocky legs could  
only carry him so far however....

"Eat steel you worthless slab of purple lard!!" screamed Fran, as the   
plump lizard bounced off of her fender, smacking into a tree. She slowed down,   
threw the car into reverse, and backed over him again for good measure. Seeing   
that her quarry was knocked senseless, she stopped the vehicle and secured a   
crowbar from the trunk. She approached the groaning dinosaur steadily and   
cautiously, brandishing the heavy iron bar before her. "So, Mr. Happy-saur,   
where's my niece and nephew? Why did you kidnap them, huh?"

The fat purple creature coughed and wheezed, it had inhaled a lot of dust   
and was bleeding at the mouth. Then, to Fran's surprise, its stocky purple   
arms removed its head and only then did she realize it was a costume...

Thorton Marshall looked back at her through thick, sweaty lenses, rolled   
his eyes, and collapsed upon the ground, unconscious.

"Oh my God," Fran whispered, leaning over to examine the frail man. She  
checked his pulse. Steady, but he may need some immediate attention.

"Why Fran, don't you know it's not nice to run over people, especially if   
they resemble your old pal, Barney?"

Fran froze. The voice had come from behind her. So clear, so close, so   
very familiar...

"Mean, mean, Fran! Wun over nice helpless man in fun Barney costume! Bad   
as brother! Mean, mean, Fran!" scowled a squeaky voice, also from behind, also   
as familiar.

Fran leapt to her feet and tried to escape, but only after a few steps she   
felt a heavy blow against the back of her head. She saw lights flash and   
flicker before her eyes, then her head hit the grassy earth. In a roar of   
demonic laughter, the world turned black.

* * * * * *

Jeremy was feeling panicky. He was unable to reach Fran, and no one was  
answering calls at the studio. No one had called from the police, meaning  
Thorton Marshall had not yet been found. Lana was in bed, sleeping off a  
tranquilizer. Here he sat alone, fidgeting and restless, waiting for a call or  
visitor. He decided to go into the basement and fetch himself a cold beer out  
of the cooler.

He went down the creaky wooden steps and turned on the light. He pulled   
open the cooler door and pulled out a frosty, wet can of beer and popped it   
open.

As he guzzled the frothy cold brew, he suddenly became aware of a presence   
in the basement with him. He paused and listened.

"What has befallen the Great Liberator?" said a raspy, almost scratchy   
voice.

Jeremy spun around and faced a creature, perched upon a cluttered old card  
table. It stood about four feet tall, had light, scaly skin and fine serrated  
teeth. Its appearance was reptilian, though its overall shape was man-like.   
It wore a moth-eaten, green and purple robe and wielded a staff emblazoned with   
amethyst and emerald gemstones. It scrutinized the human with piercing yellow   
eyes. A thin, wispy tail rolled back and forth behind it. Fine silvery hairs   
trailed down the back of its head and neck.

Jeremy sucked in his breath. For the first time in twenty years, he was   
face-to-face with a Loved One.


	5. Remnants

The two beings eyed each other suspiciously for several moments. The air   
was filled with an uncomfortable silence, one that grew increasingly   
unsettling. Jeremy had never seen a Loved One who looked so tall, so   
lizard-like, so..... ...stately. Had he been a young man of thirteen again,   
he most likely would run away or try to kill the beast before him. But there   
he was, unsure of himself. It was as if he knew the creature somehow.

The Loved One sensed his hesitation. "Jeremy Phillips, the Great   
Liberator, freer of children and destroyer of Barney's First Incarnation. You   
do not know me, but I have known you for quite some time." The creature's   
yellow eyes narrowed, the black crescents adjusting to the light. " I am known   
as Maca'hzar, Acolyte of the Underworld. What your kind refer to as sewers and  
tunnels, basically. "

"Where are my children, and what have you done to them? Tell me, or I can   
kill you here and now!" demanded Jeremy.

The Loved One scowled at the threat, and scratched his chin with thin,   
scaly fingers. "I could've killed you anytime. You and your whole family if I  
desired. I've watched you for years, Jeremy Phillips, I know many things  
about yourself but have always let you live untouched, in peace. And now you  
would threaten the wisest and most powerful of the Loved Ones? Were I the  
Purple Beast himself, you'd be dead long ago."

"You speak," said Jeremy, who had just observed the creature's ability,  
"you speak English, and fluently. No other Loved One has done that."

"By definition I am a freak, a rare exception to my kind. My abilities   
are far above most others of my race, but I didn't come to talk about my traits   
with you."

"Alright then," Jeremy said resignedly, "what does your master want and   
will he let me have my children back?"

Maca'hzar chuckled a deep, throaty laugh, then fixed his gaze back into  
Jeremy's strained eyes. "I am not servant to anyone, especially the Beast of  
Purple. I am not here to represent him, only myself. We had, say, a  
disagreement some time ago, and I have been cast out from his rule ever since.  
Rather, I am here to warn you, Jeremy Phillips, of the impending doom that  
awaits you."

Jeremy looked back at the Loved One in surprise. For some inexplicable   
reason, he could not bring himself to disbelieve the scaly, razor-toothed   
creature. He listened with rapt attention.

"Barney is back, Jeremy. He has your children and your sister. Baby Bop   
has returned as well, and the two of them are back for your blood. Barney is  
immortal: he can never be permanently destroyed. His life essence is that of  
the most pure, unrefined evil in the universe; he has no existence outside of  
that. But, there are ways to defeat him."

"I don't understand you."

Maca'hzar reached into the folds of his tattered robe and produced a dull,  
jagged shard that looked like stone. One side was smooth and marbled, the  
other was dull and rippled. He placed it into Jeremy's hand, and closed the  
human's hand around it tightly. "For sixteen nights I prayed and meditated by  
the light of the moon, burning ancient roots and oils, awaiting an answer.  
The message I give to you, Jeremy, came in a dream I had the sixteenth night."

The Loved One leant over to Jeremy, and placed his scaly, reptilian hands   
over his temples. His cold reptilian eyes burned into Jeremy's, and the  
creature hoarsely whispered, "The mother shall break the cradle".

Jeremy stood in dumbfounded silence. Maca'hzar smiled, exposing a thin   
line of yellow, jagged teeth. He made his way off of the table and began   
shuffling into the darker corners of the basement. Before Jeremy could   
completely regain his senses, the Maca'hzar had disappeared. All Jeremy could   
do was lean back against the wall, contemplating the odd shard in his hand, and   
the mysterious phrase:

"The mother shall break the cradle."

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The next morning Jeremy arranged for Lana to go visit her mother down   
south. He managed to stay behind on the excuse that he needed to work with   
Bill and plan out a continuation of "Chester Owl and Friends". They saw each   
other off at the airport and then Jeremy drove home. A phone call from the   
police mentioned the odd disappearance of his sister Fran and that Thorton   
Marshall was still unaccounted for.

The entire day Jeremy boarded up the windows and doors to the house,   
loaded and stocked a shotgun and 9mm pistol, and waited. In time he would have  
the answers he desired.

* * * * * * ** * * ** * * * * * *

Bill called the Phillip's residence several times that day, but no one   
answered and the machine was off. He desperately wanted to reach Jeremy and  
inform him that several thousand dollars worth of studio equipment was gone,  
and that investigative reporters wanted to talk to him regarding Fran and his  
missing children.

Work had been tedious that day, auditions for the new Chester Owl were   
pretty mild given the recent emcee murders. Finally he closed shop a few   
hours early and decided to collect Marshall's Barney collection and torch the   
damned pile. The police had already had seen the evidence, and Bill wanted it   
gone and out of mind.

Within the hour Bill had poured gasoline over the entire vault and ignited   
the evil collection of dolls, toys, records, and books. Purple flames rose   
high, and as the older man watched, he thought he began to see odd, disturbing   
shapes forming in the plumes of smoke and fire. He also began to feel uneasy,   
as if he was being watched and condemned by an unseen force.

* * * * * * * * *

Jeremy started abruptly at the noise. He darted off of the couch and   
swung the shotgun back and forth, looking for intruders. After a moment he   
realized that what he had heard was the clock striking midnight. He nervously   
laughed, and sat back down. He hurriedly drank a canister of cold, bitter   
coffee, and listened in the somber darkness of the house.

All was silent. The home stood still and empty, Jeremy rechecked his   
firearms and waited anxiously. He had an intuition that something was out   
there, outside the house, waiting for him to lose his guard and become   
vulnerable. What Maca'hzar had said greatly disturbed him, and Jeremy wondered   
what chance he stood against the Beast of Purple and his green companion, Baby   
Bop, if they were truly back from the dead.

An hour later Jeremy was asleep. His hands held the shotgun loosely and   
he never heard the curious scurrying noises coming from the attic and the  
basement. A few moments later the gun was lifted out of his hands and his head  
tightly wrapped in a thick green blanket. At this point Jeremy suddenly  
awoke and felt warm, pudgy, taloned hands pressing his arms against his back  
and tying his legs with rope. The man kicked and screamed, but he was  
overpowered. Seconds later a hot, toxic liquid was poured over his head and he  
lost consciousness.

* * * * * * * *

When Jeremy regained his senses, he became aware of a damp, yet metallic   
smell, and felt his back pressed against a cold, unyielding surface. His eyes  
adjusted to the dim lighting and it was then that he realized he was inside an  
immense cavern, deep under the surface. His arms and legs were firmly bound  
together, and the ropes steadily burned into his wrists and ankles. The sound  
of dripping water could be heard from unseen corners of the chamber, and as  
Jeremy strained, he began to hear a distant melody, one that unnerved him and  
brought back a multitude of horrifying memories...

I love you, you love me....we're a happy family....  
with a great big hug and kiss from me to you, won't  
you say you love me too?

"Damn you!" cried Jeremy, struggling to retain himself, "We killed you!   
We killed you and your hell-spawned servants! You're dead, do you understand!  
Dead! Dead!" His screams echoed throughout the cavern. "Where the hell is my  
sister and my children you sick, pathetic bastard?!?"

There was a long silence. Suddenly, he felt a huge, fat, stocky paw run   
its fingers through his scalp. The voice he heard shattered his nerves.

"Why, Jeremy! What a way to talk about your old friend Barney! Why, if I  
didn't know any better, I'd think you were mad at me!"

"If you don't let me go, you fat purple bucket of scum, I'm going to rip   
you apart piece by piece myself!"

The sleepy, moronic voice laughed long and loud. "Jeremy, don't be silly!  
With your arms and legs tightly bound like that, I wouldn't think you could  
even snap your fingers! Such a temper, I never knew you'd grow up to be such a  
spoilsport!"

"I want my children back, Barney...come on, you've got me now, why don't   
you let them go? They haven't anything to harm you, you can't justify holding   
them here against their will...."

"Why Jeremy, I'm surprised at you," said the voice. The chubby paw pushed  
Jeremy around so he could see behind him. "Why should I get rid of my new  
friends?"

Jeremy looked up and saw the horrible, familiar figure of Barney, the   
Purple Destroyer of Worlds. Jeremy's children, Stacy and Mark, were both   
beside him, hugging the fat bloated reptile around his waist. They looked down   
upon their helpless father with looks of remorse and disdain.

"We don't love you anymore, Daddy," said Stacy. "Barney's the only one we  
love anymore, and he loves us."

Mark, wrapping his arms even tighter around the dinosaur's waist added,  
"Barney loves us more than you, and we're staying with him...forever."

"Well, that's wonderful!" chimed Barney, wrapping his arms lovingly around  
the two children. "I guess you're not much of a father, are you Jeremy? Seems  
to me that Stacy and Mark, my Special Friends, are much happier here!"

Jeremy stared in horror and disbelief. His own children, whom he had  
loved and cared for since their birth, were now rejecting him before the very  
creature who had destroyed his childhood, wrecked his world, incited riots that  
killed his parents, and haunted him in countless nightmares that he glimpsed in  
shadows....

Barney had returned with the ultimate vengeance.


	6. Apocalypse

Jeremy Phillips hung suspended from a thick, sinewy rope, his body slung  
in a tightly woven net. He stood motionless in the air, about fifty feet down  
a lightless, bottomless chamber. The dark was impenetrable, the coolness stark  
and constant. Up above, the Purple Beast's gibbering, chittering servants, the  
Loved Ones, adjusted the coils and would occasionally hurl stones or mud down  
at the helpless figure. Jeremy cursed the creatures under his breath, and  
struggled to escape his bonds. Yet, were he to loose himself of his  
restraints, there stood the chance he could lose his balance and plummet into  
the inky blackness below him, to an unseen fate.

Occasionally, Jeremy heard singing up above, and he recognized the voices  
of his children, Stacy and Mark, coupled with those of Barney and Baby Bop. He  
still did not know what had become of his sister Fran, and he wondered too what  
had become of Thorton Marshall, who he originally suspected of kidnapping his  
children.

What Jeremy couldn't figure out was why he was alive. As an adult and  
original destroyer of Barney, he figured the fat bloated lizard would have  
killed him in a similar fashion of the murdered kid-show emcees. Perhaps  
Barney wanted him to suffer, to see his own children reject him? Jeremy's  
train of thought was momentarily broken when he heard singing again, just  
outside the cavern mouth.

I'm Barney, you love me, I am here for eternity...open your hearts  
now, let me inside, by my laws you will abide....

"Wonderful singing, everyone," said Barney, "but let's try it again from  
the top, with a bit more pitch and less pause between the verses."

Jeremy listened and understood immediately. They were rehearsing. But  
for what?

* * * * * *

"Over here," motioned Bill, "this studio and studio A and B were looted  
sometime yesterday. They didn't take everything, but everything needed to do  
an independent broadcast and beam it off our main satellite. Whoever took this  
stuff plans on doing their own show, and on a large scale!"

Chief Davies finished writing his notes, and clapped the pad together.  
"So you're saying that who ever works the stolen equipment will be able to  
broadcast all over the D.C area?"

Bill shook his head, his eyes upon the floor. "More than that, officer.  
Who ever works that stuff will be able to broadcast uninterupted...nationwide  
if they wanted to. Our relay station ties into forty-seven others, all across  
the country. Whoever did this had some outside help."

"Do you think it could have been Jeremy Phillips? He just disappeared."

"No, not Jeremy. Jeremy's the most solid character on the face of the  
earth. I've my suspicions, but time will tell, I reckon."

* * * * * * *

"Why Thorton Marshall, look at you!" beamed the Purple Dinosaur. "I do  
believe you're in a lot of pain!"

Thorton Marshall looked up at the chubby reptile and weakly smiled. The  
man lay on his back upon a thick, high, concrete slab under a sickly green  
sheet. His body was covered in blue, purple, and black spots where the flesh  
had been bruised and broken. Various sections of his body twisted and bent in  
painful positions, indicating the injuries he had sustained when Fran Phillips  
ran over him in her car. Were it not for the dense padding of his Barney Suit,  
the damage may have been much worse.

Barney and Baby Bop stood cheerfully over the broken man's limp and broken  
body. Barney was garbed in a surgeon's smock and headpiece, and gleefully  
applied a cold steel stethoscope in various areas of the patient, eliciting an  
occasional groan and short cry of agony. Baby Bop was donning a nurse's  
uniform, and held a tray of rusting, jagged, surgical blades and dingy sponges.  
Off in the corner sat a trio of Loved Ones, preparing their instruments. Fran,  
who had struck Thorton in the park with her vehicle, sat strapped to a chair  
and was gagged. With a nod to the musicians, Barney began to sing...

Thorton Marshall got run down, ee-i-ee-i-o!  
And boy is he in loads of pain, ee-i-ee-i-o!  
With a crushed rib there, a fracture there, here a break,  
There a break, everywhere a break-break,  
Thorton Marshall got run down, ee-i-ee-i-o!

The purple dinosaur began applying bandages and removing fragments of  
debris from the injured man's wounds. Thorton began to beg for morphine, but  
Barney just laughed and pushed the man's head back upon the slab. Baby Bop cut  
in with the next verse...

Thorton Marshall is a mess, ee-i-ee-o!  
I doubt he'll be the same again, ee-i-ee-i-o!  
He's lost some blood, his pulse is weak, here a clot,  
There a clot, everywhere a clot-clot,  
Thorton Marshall is a mess, ee-i-ee-i-o!

Fran watched in horror and revulsion as the two dinosaurs began wrapping  
Thorton in old tape and applying crude splints to his shattered limbs. He  
would be better off getting medical care in the hospital, thought Fran. This  
form of medicine was barbaric.

At the close of the song, Barney and Baby Bop laughed long and hard.  
Thorton, in his delirium, began laughing too. The Loved Ones who had playing  
the instruments, only looked on in partial interest. They gibbered to each  
other and began to pack their weathered instruments.

"So Thorton," beamed Barney," you'll be feeling sttuuuupppeeennddousss in  
no time! Just let Dr. Barney thank you for letting us acquire all of that  
wonderful studio equipment!"

Thorton gasped under his bandages, he was having a hard time breathing.  
"You...you're welcome, Barney....anything for a Special Friend....I hope it  
makes....you...happy..."

"Happy?" chirped the dinosaur. "You bet your life it makes me happy!  
C'mon, Baby Bop, let's give our good friend Thorton an extra-special hug!!"

The two gaily-colored lizards knelt down around Thorton and wrapped their  
arms around him. The two creatures squeezed the injured man tightly, causing  
him to scream in unbridled agony. Snapping and popping noises protruded from  
under the tape. Finally Barney and Baby Bop ended their hug and danced arm in  
arm out the room. Thorton reclined back on the slab, coughing up blood and  
seeing flashes of light before his eyes.

Fran had worked off her gag and caught her breath. She eyed Thorton  
scornfully and said, "Some 'friends' you have, you sick fool. Don't you know  
they use people like you?"

"Shuttup," wheezed the pile of bandages on the slab, "you don't know what  
true friendship is..."

* * * * * * * * *

Jeremy was awakened by the sensation of rising upward. He realized that  
his cage of rope and darkness was being lifted out of the chamber, and his eyes  
steadily adjusted to the cave lights at the opening. He was immediately  
restrained by a few packs of blubbery, goggle-eyed Loved Ones, and the  
creatures propped him against a thick, leathery-chair. Before him stood a  
chair and a television set.

A moment later, Barney appeared on the screen. Jeremy grimaced and spat  
at the picture.

"Now, now, Jeremy, that wasn't really nice," chuckled the purple dinosaur.  
"I hope you have been comfortable with your new home, I've got so many  
wonderful things to tell you!"

"Like what, you bloated sack of-"

"Your cage for instance. Did you know that the chamber you've been  
hanging over is a gateway to an entirely different world? One cut of the rope  
that binds you, and you'd be falling into a different time, a different  
place...there'd be no return for you. If you remember watching my old  
programs, you should know I'm really good at magic. That chamber's my best  
example!"

"Why am I still alive? Make it easy for all of us and kill me now."

"Why Jeremy," gaped Barney, pressing his hands against his face in obvious  
disbelief, "I can't believe you said that. Surely you want to stick around for  
the premiere of my new show. I'm making a comeback, and I want you to be there  
as my Special Guest of Honor!"

"Like Hell I will. No network is going to run your crummy perverted  
program, and I'm not going to be on it, either!" snapped Jeremy, his disgust  
steadily increasing.

"Oh, but we're not using a network. My special friend Thorton lent me all  
kinds of super-great studio equipment, with which we can broadcast anytime,  
anywhere. People will have no choice but to watch my program. And I also  
insist you appear on it!"

"And if I don't?"

The Beast of Purple sighed. "Well Jeremy, I guess if you don't, I'll have  
to get very, very upset. Maybe even take it out on those you love..." With  
that, Barney pulled Mark and Stacy onto the set with him. The two children  
smiled and waved at their father from the television screen. "Well kids,"  
continued Barney, "looks like your father refuses to be on my show, so I guess  
I'll have to.....eat you!"

Before Jeremy's horrified eyes, Barney's gigantic maw enclosed the tender  
young heads of his children, biting them off and crunching the tender morsels  
between his teeth. The headless bodies dropped to the floor, spitting blood  
upon the camera.

"Noooo! Oh my God, noooo!!!" shrieked Jeremy, flailing madly in the  
chair. He clenched his teeth in rage and horror, and began to sob  
uncontrollably...

"April fool, Jeremy!" chuckled the fat, bloated dinosaur. "Those were  
just examples of our new special effects models, superimposed and animated upon  
the screen. Sure was convincing, wasn't it?"

Before Jeremy's relieved eyes, Stacy and Mark walked onto the screen,  
unscathed. They were giggling uncontrollably.

"Boy Dad, you sure were scared!" said Stacy, holding her sides. "As if  
Barney would really do anything bad to us!"

"Yeah," said Mark, his face red with glee, "he loves us too much for that.  
What I wouldn't give to see your face again when you thought he bit our heads  
off!!"

Barney leant towards the screen and winked at Jeremy. "But let's not  
press our luck, shall we?" He then returned to the two children and the trio  
began to sing...

I love you, you love me, we're a happy family....  
with a great big hug and kiss from me to you, won't  
you say you love me too?

Jeremy slumped back into his chair, broken and distraught. The Loved Ones  
placed him back into the net and lowered him back into the chamber, into the  
icy stillness. As Jeremy disappeared under the thick veil of black, he heard  
Barney's voice calling after him from the television monitor:

"See you on the set tomorrow, Jeremy!"


	7. Vendetta

Jeremy slid his watch over to the thin shaft of light that trickled from  
above his netted cage, and learned that he had been Barney's prisoner for four  
days. It was only a matter of time before the Loved Ones would hoist him out  
of the chamber and escort him to the studio, there to be a special guest on the  
all-new "Barney and Friends", co-starring Baby Bop and his own children, Stacy  
and Mark.

His thoughts hearkened back to the time when he was a lone  
thirteen-year-old, put against the bloated purple monster. Back then he had  
the element of surprise and decision; it was hard to have those when your foe  
had you dangling from a rope and your own children rejected you. It seemed for  
the moment that Barney had all the cards.

Suddenly Jeremy became aware of a scraping noise, of stone against stone,  
coming not from above, but just below him. He fidgeted uncomfortably and  
strained his eyes, but all he could see was blackness. Was this the end? Was  
this some faceless denizen of an alien dimension, come to devour him as he lay  
helplessly bound in rope and darkness? He bit his lip and waited.

The sound of stones shifting became clearer, and suddenly a thin orb of  
light shone from below, accenting two yellowish eyes with thin black slits for  
pupils.

It was Maca'hzar.

The weathered, reptilian Loved One motioned Jeremy to be very quiet, as he  
produced a thin, platinum blade from under his cloak. He quickly began to cut  
Jeremy's bonds and as Jeremy's eyes got accustomed to the light, he saw that  
the Acolyte had constructed a tunnel that opened out into the chamber itself.  
In another moment he was free and was crawling down the tunnel following  
Maca'hzar to freedom.

* * * * * *

"What do you mean he escaped?!" bellowed Barney, his eyes focusing on the  
frantic and uneasy Loved One. The pudgy, balloon-faced creature shifted back  
and forth on its elephantine feet and chittered out excuses and apologies. In  
his rage, Barney lifted the creature off of his feet and flung him down the  
chamber shaft. The pathetic creature shrieked as it plummeted into the horrid  
darkness. Its fellow Loved Ones backed away in fear from the enraged Beast of  
Purple.

"Stupid, stupid, servant!" stammered Baby Bop, who pounded her feet  
against the cave floor. "Fall forever, down big, big, scary hole! Same thing  
for all of you others, if you lose Jeremy! Fall forever!"

Thorton Marshall came into the room, pushed along in a wheelchair by two  
Loved Ones. His bandages were filthy and speckled with blood the man had  
coughed up on himself following his "surgery". He gingerly cradled a Barney  
doll in his lap. "Barney and Baby Bop," he began, "we're ready for recording  
if you are."

"Why that's wonderful!" chimed Barney, completely changing his demeanor.  
"I can't wait to get my show back on again! Are the musicians, children, and  
technician ready to go, Thorton?"

"Yes, Barney, they are," wheezed the chair-bound fanatic. "And every  
available Loved One is out searching the tunnels for Jeremy Phillips. Trust  
me, Barney, he won't leave this cavern without his children and sister."

"OOoooohhh, I just love making television shows!" squeaked Baby Bop,  
wrapping her favorite blanket around her shoulders. "Let's go everyone, time  
to play!"

* * * * * * * * *

"I didn't think I'd see you again," said Jeremy, washing his face before  
an old cracked mirror.

"My respect for you is very strong," replied Maca'hzar, reclining against  
a pile of velvet cushions. "I see the Purple One suspended you above the  
Dimensional Chamber, a gateway to many planes of existence. It was my design  
and invention, though he likes to take credit for it. What he doesn't know  
about is the secret passageway and den I installed during its original  
construction. Allows me to see and hear many things." The silver-haired Loved  
One ran his claws over the jewel-encrusted edge of his staff. "The second  
dawning of Barney is almost underway."

"He's got my kids, my sister, and is ready to make television shows  
again," muttered Jeremy. "But I've no weapons and very little idea on how to  
take him on."

"The mother shall break the cradle," said Maca'hzar. He lit another  
candle.

"God that's ambiguous", Jeremy grumbled, drying his face and sitting  
across the scaly creature. "Can't you give me something more tangible, more  
concrete to work with rather than this mediocre Dungeons and Dragons lingo?  
What's your impression of the message?"

Maca'hzar whistfully shut his eyes and sat in silence for a few moments.  
When he opened his eyes again, they blazed with a mysterious fire and he spoke  
as if from the bottom of a deep, hollow well.

"All creatures great and small, Jeremy Phillips, share one thing. Despite  
one's strength or power, all must lower themselves before the dawn of their  
existence. What we hold dominion over cannot precede us. Rather, we are  
vulnerable to the era that came before our destiny.

"A child submits to the will of his parents. A masterpiece of art is  
nothing when reduced to the mere canvas. Every dawn is but a pale afterglow of  
the night before it. Salmon fight to find the grounds they were born in, and  
either die or die trying. A tree, when reduced to the merest sapling-"

"Whoa, whoa whoa," interupted Jeremy. "Please, Maca'hzar, you're losing  
me here. I didn't want talks on fish, art, kids, whatever. What does this all  
have to do with destroying Barney?"

"Is it still with you?" asked Maca'hzar. "The fragment I gave you back in  
your dwelling."

Jeremy fumbled through his pockets, he produced the flat, textured shard  
from his shirt. "Yeah, it's here."

"Good, you will be adequately prepared. When the time comes, all will be  
known to you. I wish I could help you Jeremy Phillips, but the Great Beast of  
Purple is of my own flesh and blood. My power will not be of much use against  
him. It is upon you, the Great Liberator, to destroy his second incarnation  
and save your world again."

* * * * * * * *

"My Loved Ones have not been able to find Jeremy," bubbled Barney, "but as  
I remember, Thorton, you are quite handy with some of this equipment. Show me  
what you've done!"

Thorton idly wheeled himself over to a monitor and keyboard. He paused to  
take a deep, hoarse breath, then began punching keys as fast as his shattered  
hands could muster. "Just like the effect we did with the kids getting their  
heads bitten off," he began," we've taken a superimposed image and manipulated  
it to simulate movement. In a sense, enriched animation. We got a video clip  
of Jeremy head on. With some voice enhancement, we can make this computer  
simulation say and do anything we want. Do you have your statement handy?"

"I absolutely do!" beamed the purple dinosaur. "Punch that in and let's  
see the magic!" Thorton punched in the text and hit the return button. The  
computer monitor flickered and whirred for a few seconds. Then, a computer  
simulated image of Jeremy Phillips blipped onto the screen, looking incredibly  
life-like. Thorton hit another series of keys and the computer-Jeremy began  
talking....

Hi, my name is Jeremy Phillips, and I welcome everyone out there  
in television land to watch "Barney and Friends", coming back after  
twenty stuuuppppennnddouuusss years! I now realize it was wrong to  
destroy Barney's reputation, and Baby Bop's too, but now that I'm  
older and more responsible, let me be the first to say that Barney  
is my very special friend and I hope you all watch his show, tomorrow  
night at 9:00 pm. Barney's back from the dead and he looovvveesssss  
you!

"That's wonderful!" chirped Barney, jumping up and down in glee,  
"Thorton, broadcast that clip every half hour on every major network. I just  
can't wait!" The purple lizard's ecstatic giggling and dancing filled the  
studio. The bloated creature sagged downstairs to share the news with Baby  
Bop.

Thorton finished the rough editing and prompted the relay stations back on the  
earth's surface. Towers across the globe hummed and flickered as the signals  
began pouring in. Antennas across the country's homesteads hissed and spat  
static as the video blips surged into television sets.

* * * * * * * * *

Bill had just sat down with a cold beer and TV dinner, and eagerly  
switched on the tube to catch the closing moments of the Chicago Cubs and the  
Minnesota Twins. With the score tied and the bases loaded, the batter lobbed a  
high ball into center field, the field man raced desperately to catch the ball  
plummeting to the earth, the crowd held its breath as the ball and the  
fielder's mitt raced against each other and then...

Hi, my name is Jeremy Phillips and I welcome everyone out there  
in television land to watch "Barney and Friends"....

Bill about choked on his beer. He coughed up foam and it speckled against  
the fuzzy surface of the television screen. "What the hell-?"

......Barney's back from the dead and he loooovvvveesss you!

"Damn, that was Jeremy," muttered Bill, wiping off the excess foam. He  
called the central studio in the downtown area. "Hello Susan, this is Bill.  
You just saw it too? Good. I've an idea they're gonna be broadcasting this  
ballyhoo a lot in the next day, get Mace and his crew to track down that  
signal. Pronto!"

* * * * * * * * * * *

"You aren't going with me?" asked Jeremy uncomfortably.

"I've done all I can for this battle," said Maca'hzar, opening the portal  
entrance. "Jeremy Phillips, you are strong and of pure soul. I remind you to  
keep on your guard and remember all that we've talked about. If it is meant to  
be, you will triumph over the Great Beast of Purple once more."

"Maca'hzar, you know, I don't know why, but normally I would be drawn to  
kill a creature such as you. But you're not a typical Loved One. I don't feel  
any inner desire to destroy you..."

The creatures eyes squinted, and he smiled a thin, tapering smile. "As it  
should be. Here, I've one more thing to give you. " Maca'hzar unfastened a  
tarnished, slightly rusty firearm from behind his shoulder. He unstrapped a  
few clips from his belt and handed it to Jeremy. "Magic is magic," he said,  
"but there's something to be said for technology. You will need this from time  
to time, Jeremy Phillips." He turned and went back into the tunnel.

Jeremy watched the dwarfish figure disappear, speechless. The next  
instant he slammed a clip into the main chamber of the gun. He scurried down  
the hall and towards the main cavern.

* * * * * * * * * *

"Three, two, one!" called Thorton, adjusting the camera field. The Loved  
One ensemble immediately began playing a rollicking, clumsy melody and a chorus  
of children's voices could be heard:

Barney is a dinosaur, come back to be your good friend, and  
if you love him as much as I you'll want to make it happen!

Barney loves us very much, Barney loves us always!  
Let him in your empty heart and enjoy lots of fun days!

"Ugh, that's some horrible stuff," groaned Fran, strapped into the chair  
next to Thorton.

Thorton snorted under his bandages. "Shuttup, miserable wench! He's a  
genius, and he's gonna make the world a happy place once more!" He got so  
worked up he started coughing and wheezing, hacking thin spackles of blood upon  
the control panel. Fran observed some of the exposed areas of his body, and  
saw some where turning a spongy green. Gangrene.

* * * * * * * *

Five hours later, the cast and crew decided to take a break. Barney and  
Baby Bop were especially jubilant. They had already taped the performance  
segments of the show, now all that was left was the live segments. The  
broadcast would begin in just a matter of minutes. The two creatures hobbled  
about the set merrily, dancing with Stacy and Mark, and giggling  
uncontrollably. As the band of prancing children and dinosaurs romped about  
the stage, they did not notice the human figure up above them in the lighting  
rails.

Jeremy peered down at the small ensemble, and readied his gun. He had to  
stop the broadcast and do so without harming his kids. A few feet back dangled  
a Loved One technician, whom Jeremy had strangled with some leftover electrical  
cord. Its eyes bulged out of its sockets, the pasty orange tongue hanging  
down upon its plump, blubbery chin. Jeremy eyed the creature with disgust,  
Maca'hzar was a much more dignified creature than the majority of Loved Ones  
he'd encountered. Not fat or blubbery, but sinewy and covered in broad, jagged  
scales. In some ways like a miniature dinosaur...

* * * ** * * * **

"There it is again!" yelled Bill, pointing to the screen. "Whoever's  
broadcasting this junk is doing it every half hour on the hour! Mace, you any  
closer to locking onto that signal?"

"One more transmission should do it," said the haggardly man, scratching  
his head. "It's definitely within a twenty-mile radius, and below the ground.  
Must be a hell of a transmitter".

Bill checked his watch and counted down for the next half hour. The time  
just rolled by and by....

* * * * * * * * *

Jeremy heard laughter and chuckling below him. Barney, Baby Bop, and his  
two children, Stacy and Mark, had just finished another song and were making  
the final adjustements to the set and props. Loved One technicians scampered  
about the studio, preparing for the live broadcast, which would begin in a  
matter of minutes. Jeremy pried his mind for a plan, but nothing came to  
light. The gun begun to feel heavier and heavier in his grip, but he knew he  
could hold on. As long as he went undetected.

********************

"Thorton," began Fran, "you are one sick guy. Those two beasts bandaged  
you up like the Middle Ages or something. Your whole body's begun to blacken  
and spoil. If we don't get you to a real hospital, you'll die!"

"Quiet, woman," said Thorton, staring into the monitor. "Obviously you've  
never experienced true love before. Barney came to this world to love us all,  
unconditionally and without expectation. People like you and your worthless  
brother don't understand that, in fact you're scared of it." He pressed the  
Barney doll against his chin. His voice suddenly grew syrupy and infantile.  
"My pwecious wittle buddy Barney woves me and would never hurt me."

"Ooh, God help me," said Fran, rolling her eyes and turning away in  
embarassment.

Suddenly the lights dimmed and the Barney soundtrack chimed in. The  
monitors flashed to Barney and Baby Bop, coming out of two respective tombs,  
dusting themselves off, and looking about in a lush green meadow with blue  
skies and flitting butterflies. Stacy and Mark came out and the four of them  
began dancing hand in hand. Fran looked down at the set but saw nothing. She  
then realized this was a pre-recorded segment. The song was an obvious rip-off  
of "Yankee Doodle"....

Barney and Baby Bop, having risen from the dead, want to dance and  
laugh and play, and become your loving friend....

The music was off-synch, miscalculated, and poorly played. Fran grimaced  
at the sound and became ill. Thorton swayed around in his chair, tapping his  
dingy fingers in tempo. Once the music was over, the lights flared up upon the  
soundstage, illuminating Barney and Baby Bop in all their glory. Thorton  
checked the frequency monitor. The signal was getting out. TV stations across  
the continent were picking up the broadcast, on every major network. He  
giggled in delight and kissed his Barney doll.

"Why, hello everyone out there! It's me, Barney the Dinosaur!"

"And *me*, don't forget *me*, Barney! I'm Baby Bop, and I just loovvveee  
being back on television!"

"It's been twenty years, boys and girls, but we're back! More songs and  
love for everyone! And I know some of you out there watching right now are in  
need of a special friend. Do you know what? I want to be that special friend  
with you!" The sagging, purple lizard slurred the last few words with a  
saccharine emphasis that made Fran lose control and she began to retch. On  
Thorton.

"You vile wretch, you've vomited on my precious Barney doll!" screamed the  
bandaged lunatic, his thick glasses steaming over in rage. He immediately  
tried to rise and strike Fran, but his injuries kept making him stumble. He  
fell on the floor and kicked around in desperation.

Back on the set, Barney and Baby Bop paired together and began expressing  
their love for all of the viewers.

"You know, Baby Bop, I feel so much love for our new and old viewers, I  
feel just like-"

"Pwaying with my blanky?" cooed the spritely green dinosaur.

Barney chuckled. "No, but that sounds like a stuuuuuuuuuupendoussss idea  
too. But what I was really going to say was that I felt just like *singing*!"

The Loved One ensemble picked up the cue and began playing the opening  
chords of the most powerful, infamous, familiar song of the Purple One. The  
two dinosaurs began swaying and holding hands. Barney opened the piece...

I love you, you love me....

The next moment there was a loud resounding crash. Barney turned around  
and noticed Baby Bop had been struck by a huge metal strobelight, that had been  
dropped from above. The impact had pretty much snapped Baby Bop's neck clear  
in half, and the petite green dinosaur lay gurgling at his feet. Barney looked  
up just as another light fell his way. He caught it in mid-air and saw Jeremy  
dangling above him, brandishing a thick metal blade.

"Why Jeremy Phillips, what a long time it's been! Were you the one who  
dropped the light upon poor Baby Bop? That wasn't very nice! Didn't your  
parents tell you cutting tension chords on light equipment could be dangerous?  
Come on down and let's sing a song about safety!"

"Bite me, you worthless purple gasbag," snarled Jeremy. "I'm cancelling  
your show right now!"

A horde of Loved Ones had scampered up the balcony, after Jeremy. He saw  
them approaching and leveled the gun at them. Bullets blazed and sparks flew  
as Jeremy gunned down the whole lot. Orange and pink blood spattered all over  
the set like rain.

"Get him!" bellowed the fat purple reptile, and several more packs of  
Loved Ones scampered up the rails. As Jeremy inserted a new clip and prepared  
to level it at the oncoming horde, the entire railing lurched under the  
combined weight and was completely torn out of the wall the next instant.  
Jeremy, the Loved Ones, and several hundred pounds of lighting and sound  
equipment plunged towards the soundstage below. Screams filled the air as the  
hapless bunch fell all five stories....


	8. Revelations

The lighting rails struck the soundstage with tremendous impact, the  
resounding clap of steel meeting rock cracked the atmosphere as sparks and  
debris flew everywhere. Great clouds of dust obscured the set, filling the  
on-line monitors with thick static. A few seconds later they came back on,  
illuminating the disastrous scene.

Thorton watched in disbelief, his jaw hanging wide, his eyes staring out  
from under the bandages. Fran stared at the destruction also, mortified at the  
carnage. From the back areas of the soundstage, Stacy and Mark watched in  
terrified silence.

A moment later a Loved One rose from the wreckage, gave an ear-splitting  
cry and pointed at Jeremy Phillips, thrown back against a twisted railing. The  
next instant the man ripped a volley of bullets through its pudgy belly, orange  
and pink innards bursting from the impact. The creature fell backwards,  
flattening out against the cold unyielding surface of the rocky floor.

"Why Jeremy, that wasn't a nice thing to do," quipped a low, moronic voice  
from under the pile of debris.

"Show yourself, you grinning hunk of lard!" shouted Jeremy, picking  
himself off the floor. He nervously looked around and surveyed the damage.  
The Loved Ones who had fallen with him were either dead or bleeding  
profusely. To his surprise, he felt a hand grasp him by the ankle and he was  
yanked off of his feet. His chin hit the floor. Hard. The gun slipped out of  
his grip and rattled across the floor.

"Bad, bad, bad Jeremy! Try to kill Baby Bop and Barney! Silly Jeremy, we  
never die! Gonna teach you big lesson! Real, real, real *big* lesson!"

Jeremy looked by his feet and saw Baby Bop, her neck still snapped in  
half, clutching his ankle. Her head wobbled crazily and a large segment of  
bone jutted out of her shoulder. It was her vertebrae. Yet, the frenzied  
baby-like creature cursed and clawed at him.

Barney's titanic purple head rose out from under a pastel-painted flat.  
He saw Jeremy's dilemma and grinned widely, his gleaming white teeth shining  
cruelly. Jeremy frantically kicked at Baby Bop, but the green dinosaur hung on  
with incredible strength. Jeremy reached behind him for the gun, but when he  
looked, he saw it was gone. Instead, a man wrapped up in dingy tapes and  
bandages and sitting in a chair was there, leveling it at him.

Thorton Marshall. Jeremy couldn't mistake the thick glasses and the  
lunatic eyes. Not even under those soiled bandages.

"I-I've got him, Barney," said Thorton, a quivering smile coming across  
his bruised and swollen face. "You can take him prisoner again, he's not going  
anywhere!"

"Thorton, you are indeed my Special, Special Friend! Thank you for  
getting the gun and capturing Jeremy. As a matter of fact, I've a special,  
super-ka-duper favor to ask of you!"

"Oh Barney, you know I'd do anything for you! Anything at all, because  
you're my Special Friend and you love me so. What is it?"

The bloated violet reptile rose from the debris and waddled over to the  
bandaged man. With a fresh smile and a paw placed lovingly upon Thorton's  
shoulder, he replied.

"Kill him. Shoot him through the face."

Thorton paused. He looked back at Barney and laughed, nervously. "What?"

"Shoot bad, bad, Jeremy! Make him bleed! Teach Jeremy super-good lesson,  
you can!" squealed Baby Bop ecstatically.

Thorton raised the gun and aimed the sights at Jeremy's face. Torrents of  
sweat began trickling down both men's faces, and Thorton began twitching  
uncontrollably. "But Barney," whispered Thorton, "killing is...bad. I..I've  
never killed before. It's not right....I can't do it."

Stacy and Mark huddled from a distant corner of the set, mortified at the  
scene. Fran sat up in the control booth, desperately trying to free herself of  
her restraints.

"Thorton, you *are* my Special Friend, aren't you? Would't you do  
anything that I asked you too? You know, if your good old pal Barney asks you  
to do it, that means it's not bad at all! You know how much I love you, don't  
you?"

Thorton shook his head. "But in the videos, and all your books, you never  
did anything to harm anyone else...you taught us that fighting was bad, and  
that we should apologize if we hurt someone, and we can all be friends and love  
one another-" The next instant Thorton lowered the gun and began crying  
uncontrollably. Tears rushed down his face and soaked his glasses and  
bandages. "Oh God, I'm so sorry. For all of this," cried the man.

"Weak, fraidy-cat Thorton is crying! Like big baby! Big little baby!  
Can't do it! Scared! Scaredy, scaredy Thorton! " hissed Baby Bop, pulling  
herself out of the collapsed set, her head dangling upon her shoulder. "Gonna  
cry, now? Want Mommy? Mommy don't love big weak worthless crying-Thorton  
babies!"

"Shuttup!" screamed Thorton. "Just shuttup and leave me alone!" The  
man's reddened face cringed and he collapsed into Barney's arms.

Jeremy was free of Baby Bop's grip, but he couldn't leave. He sat on the  
floor, engrossed in the emotional spectacle before him.

Barney soothingly stroked Thorton's head, patting him on the back with the  
other hand. "Why Thorton, there's no need to cry. Don't you know that I still  
love you? It's okay, don't feel ashamed. I will love you always."

Thorton sniffed and looked into Barney's dead, empty eyes. "You...you  
really mean it, Barney?"

"Why of course!" chirped the fat dinosaur. "I will love you Thorton, even  
if you're scared, or if you're angry...."

Jeremy sensed it. He darted away and hid.

"...or even if you're _dead!"

Thorton reacted too late. The moment he looked up he saw the huge,  
powerful teeth close on him,he screamed and thrashed madly. His whole upper  
body was thrown back as Barney reared his head and bit clear through the  
hapless man's chest. The lower portion fell to the floor, spraying crimson  
upon the floor and Baby Bop, who giggled and jumped up and down with glee.  
Stacy and Mark screamed in terror, Fran averted her eyes in repulsion. Barney  
sat upward, guzzling Thorton's upper body, cracking bones and snapping  
ligaments. Bandages and entrails seeped down the chin and neck of the Great  
Purple Beast, who merrily swallowed the remaining portions of the unfortunate  
man.

"Good, good bloody Thorton! No cwy no more!" squeaked Baby Bop. Barney  
relaxed his head and wiped excess blood and foam from his lips with his hand.  
Suddenly the two dinosaurs made a horrid realization...

They were still on the air. Live. Broadcast all over the country.

" Shut down the system!" screamed Barney in intense panic. He swooned at  
the thought of all his television disciples watching him kill his biggest fan,  
coast to coast, in the sanctity of their own living rooms. He barked orders at  
the Loved One technicians working the monitors and satellite-access systems,  
then noticed a camera pointed directly at him. Behind it was Jeremy Phillips.  
He scowled at the lone human and began racing after him.

Jeremy backed away from the camera. He had managed to focus in on  
Barney's cold-blooded and grisly murder of Thorton, zooming in on the  
creature's gleeful expression as he devoured the chair-bound man. But now  
Barney was enraged. Jeremy raced out of the studio and down the central  
tunnel.

Baby Bop finished licking Thorton's blood off her face and started yelling  
commands to the surviving Loved Ones, who were scampering everywhere in  
confusion. Fran watched from above, and realized it wouldn't be long before  
Baby Bop would send the foul servants after Stacy and Mark. If only she could  
undo the restraints...

A second later she wrested her right arm from under its strap. She began  
punching buttons on the console. Immediately, a piercing, deafening hum hit  
the stage, causing Baby Bop and the Loved Ones to clasp their ears and grimace  
in agony. It had worked. Fran had set all the sound amplifiers and distortion  
units on maximum. In the control booth, she was insulated from the  
ear-splitting roar. She only hoped Stacy and Mark were out of the area. As  
the creatures below her writhed and screamed about the destroyed set, she  
unfastened her other hand and worked herself free. What she needed now was the  
gun, back on the soundstage floor next to Thorton's scattered remains. But to  
get down there she'd have to turn the amplifiers off. If she made it before  
they recovered...

Fran hit the "OFF" button on the speaker console. The blaring siren shut  
off. Fran scurried down the stairs and began looking for the gun amidst the  
crumpled bodies of Loved Ones. She found it, still speckled with blood, and  
released the catch lever. As she did so a trio of Loved Ones lunged for her.  
She aimed low, cutting the bunch down instantly. The other Loved Ones  
scrambled around the desolate wrecked set for cover. She picked off a few  
behind the props table, and gunned down another trying to climb up the safety  
ladder. Still, she was uneasy. Where was Baby Bop?

"Gotcha mean Fwan!" squawked Baby Bop, clasping her powerful arms around  
Fran's delicate neck. "Snap your head off like mine I will! Snap, snap,  
snap!"

Fran spun around frantically, trying to shake the green creature off. She  
felt Baby Bop's teeth sink into her shoulder, and she screamed in pain. Blood  
drizzled down her arm and chest, yet the agony she felt gave her the strength  
to clutch the infantile dinosaur by the head and wrest her off. She spun  
around and jammed the muzzle into Baby Bop's bloodied mouth.

"Eat steel, you slimy green bitch!"

The resultant force of the burst flung Baby Bop's head completely off, and  
the head smacked into a concrete wall behind her. Fran heard a nauseating  
crack as it did so, and the green reptile's head slowly crawled down the wall,  
leaving a thick, pasty green trail behind it. Fran backed away, repulsed by  
the sight.

To her surprise and horror, the shattered head opened its thick-lashed  
eyes and scowled at her. "Mean, mean Fwan!" it squealed. "Gonna go now, but  
when Baby Bop come back, gonna make you hurt. Bad hurt!"

As Fran watched on in disbelief, the decapitated body sat upright, and ran  
towards Baby Bop's head. The fuzzy green arms picked it up and ran down the  
central corridor.

"I'll be damned," muttered Fran. "The little green swat's immortal." She  
checked her weapon and saw she was almost out of ammo. Jeremy would have it,  
she figured, and made off in the direction he and Barney had run minutes  
before. With luck, she thought, Stacy and Mark would be okay.

She had barely gone more than a few hundred yards when several packs of  
Loved Ones leapt out at her, from all directions. The pudgy creatures groped  
for her gun and tried to pull her down, but Fran managed to wrest free and mow  
down several. The survivors scurried back, enclosing the woman in a tight  
circle.

Fran knew her ammunition was pretty near depleted, and began to wonder how  
long she could bluff the Loved Ones before they caught on and charged her.  
Just as the bloated, cloaked monsters began edging closer, the cave was rocked  
by an enormous blast. Fran was knocked off her feet.

When she looked up, she saw a huge gaping hole in the corridor ceiling.  
The next instant heavily armored soldiers and patrolmen began lowering  
themselves into the cavern with cable, shining their lights about the area.  
Sensing an intrusion, the Loved Ones began hurling rocks and small articles at  
the troops, who returned the gesture with rampant gunfire.

Fran shielded herself from the ensuing bursts, hoping that they could see  
her and wouldn't hit her. The bullets fell like hard, stinging hail, she saw  
Loved Ones literally chopped to pieces under the relentless barage. Pasty pink  
blood spattered everywhere, and smoke filled the corridor. Cries of humans  
mingled with inhuman gurglings, and within moments the soldiers and patrolmen  
had secured the area. One woman, clad in an infantry uniform and decorated  
with lieutenant's bars, came over to Fran.

"You Fran Phillips?" she asked. Fran nodded her head. "Lieutenant Chelsey  
McKintyre, 3rd Division. I'm here with several platoons, we're gonna take this  
whole operation down pronto. How are you?"

"I'm fine, I guess," replied Fran. She was still a little overwhelmed.  
"My brother, Jeremy. Barney was chasing him."

"What direction, Fran?" asked McKintyre, her grey eyes glancing at the  
various corridors.

"I think that way," said Fran, pointing at the trail that led to the main  
chamber. "Baby Bop may have gone the same route."

"Tell you what, Fran," said the lieutenant, "we're going to leave an  
escort here with you in case any more of those loving lizards comes back this  
way. These people are trained for anything. Trust them. And there's someone  
else who you need to stay with." McKintyre notioned to an aging gentleman  
wearing a turtleneck and checkered pants.

"Aren't you Bill, Jeremy's co-worker?" asked Fran.

Bill knelt down and put his hands on her shoulders. "Sure am, Miss.  
Don't think we've ever been formally introduced. We'll talk more later. Just  
be glad we were able to lock onto the Purple Creep's transmission signal, we  
may have never found this place. You know you guys are 300 feet underground?  
So where's Jeremy?"

"Barney was chasing him, he looked pretty sore," she answered.

"And Thorton Marshall?"

Fran swallowed. "Dead. Barney killed him after Thorton refused to shoot  
Jeremy. It was all on television. God, it was a horrible sight."

"Well," said Bill, "it's almost over now. And it's good to know even a  
stoolie like Thorton had his good side. When this all gets cleared up Fran,  
you won't have anything to worry about."

Suddenly, the older man froze. Fran, McKintyre, and the troops in the  
chamber all heard the noise. It came from down the southeastern tunnel. It  
was Jeremy, and he was screaming.

* * * * * * * *

"Maybe after this, I can get you a whole super-filly-duper box of Barney  
Band-Aids!" joked Barney, twisting Jeremy's arm tightly behind his back.  
Jeremy gritted his teeth in pain. Any more pressure his arm could be torn  
right out of its socket. The man frantically kicked and pulled against the  
Purple One's incredible grip, but it was of no use.

"You're not much up on wrestling, Jeremy," mused the purple dinosaur,   
"maybe you'll be more enthusiastic about _flying_!" With that, Barney picked   
up Jeremy and flung him across the main chamber. Jeremy hit the ground with a  
pulverizing thud, the air knocked out of him. He tried pulling himself off the  
ground, but he couldn't breathe and stars flickered before his eyes.

"Look like Jeremy falling asleep! Going beddy-bye! I go help him wake up  
again!"

It was Baby Bop's voice, but Jeremy couldn't place her location.   
Suddenly, a deep, piercing pain engulfed his left hand. He looked down and saw   
the disembodied head of Baby Bop, bearing down on his lower arm with knobby   
white teeth. The sight terrified him and he shouted in pain and fright. As he  
wrestled with the head, the pink and green body of the squeaky dinosaur waddled  
over and began kicking Jeremy repeatedly. The injured man flailed at the body,  
then drove the head encasing his hand against the cave floor several times.  
The creature's thick, lashy eyes glared at him malevolently. The mouth began  
to bear down even tighter.

"Say Jeremy, would you say that Baby Bop's trying to help you *get   
ahead*?" chuckled Barney. "Two heads *are* better than one!"

While Jeremy fought with Baby Bop, and Barney cracked joke after joke,   
Stacy and Mark snuck closer and closer to the ghastly scene. The two children   
were confused and scared, and no longer trusted the fat, flabby Beast of   
Purple. They noticed that Barney was standing fairly close to the deep, dark   
shaft that Barney had suspended their father over, what if they could push him   
down it?

On Mark's signal, the two children rushed and butted into Barney. The two  
children plunged into the downy flesh of the plump reptile, but the dinosaur  
stood his ground. Before the children could escape, the purple lizard grabbed  
them both by the hair and pulled them back.

"Stacy and Mark, my Special Friends! Were you trying to do a fun joke on  
Barney, push him down that Dimensional Chamber? What will you silly children  
think of next?"

"Oww, let us go Barney, you fat ugly freak, let go of my hair!" screamed   
Stacy.

"Dad, help us!" yelled Mark, desperately trying to pull Barney's fingers   
out from his scalp.

Upon seeing his children in danger, Jeremy found new strength. He thrust   
his free hand into Baby Bop's mouth, and popped her jaw apart by prying both   
arms against the sides of her head. The mouth drooped open, releasing Jeremy's  
hand. The head fell to the floor, and with a swift kick, Jeremy sent it flying  
against the cave ceiling, impaling it crudely upon a nest of stalactites. He  
sent a swift blow the body's stomach, and it doubled over and hit the floor.  
With a bloodcurdling yell, Jeremy flung himself at Barney, who was taken  
completely by surprise.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Just minutes away, Lt. McKintyre and her troops were leveling down hordes   
of Loved Ones, who charged the troops armed with knives, broken glass, boards,   
and rocks. They had obviously never prepared for such a massed assault on   
their lair before. The Loved Ones descended upon the troops and patrolmen like   
a thick, blubbery sea. Pink and orange ichor splashed everywhere.

"My God, it's like shooting a wall of pudding," McKintyre muttered to   
herself as she reduced a Loved One to glistening, gooey chunks.

As the last Loved One was gunned to pieces, the attackers advanced towards   
the main chamber. When they got there, they were met with an unusual sight.

* * * * * * * *

A headless green and pink body rolled around the floor. Two human   
children were trying to free their father from the unyielding grasp of a huge   
purple dinosaur. In the center of the room was an immense gaping pit of total  
darkness.

"Check your sights, I don't want anyone firing on that plum-colored lizard  
S.O.B until Jeremy Phillips is safely out of its way," whispered Lt. McKintyre  
to her troops. All the startled group could do was watch, helplessly.

Blow after blow fell upon Jeremy. He wasn't sure, but he felt he may have   
a serious concussion. Barney clutched him tightly against his body, in the  
manner of a bear hug. Jeremy tried to break free but couldn't,  
and his ears were filled with the Purple Beast's laughter and the terrified  
pleas of his children.

"Corporal," said McKintyre softly," train your sights on the back of   
Barney's head. Get a good clear shot at it, we can't wait. Another moment and   
Jeremy's as good as dead."

The corporal nodded and fixed his barrel carefully upon the back area of   
the dinosaur's skull.

"Fire!"

The bullet blazed and tore the back of Barney's head clear off. The jolt  
snapped Barney backwards, and the bloated creature released his grip from  
Jeremy, who fell to the floor, gasping for air. The children screamed and ran  
away from the sight, into the company of militia.

"Jeremy's free, focus all fire on that gutless blob!" commanded McKintyre.

Dozens of rifles, pistols, and machine guns blazed the next instant,   
tearing off shards of flesh and bone from the Great Beast of Purple. Jeremy  
frantically crawled away from the onslaught, his ears ringing with the sound of  
explosions, his nostrils stinging from the bitter acrid smoke that filled the  
air.

"Cease fire!" barked the lieutenant.

The smoke cleared slowly. McKintyre squinted. She could see nothing.  
"Halverston."

"Yes, sir?"

"Go check him out. Smith, Olson, Rimiski, you three cover him."

Private Halverston warily made his way to the site where the Beast of   
Purple had stood just a few moments before. The stout young soldier   
disappeared in the thick plumes of smoke. "Sir, he's dead, he's all blown to   
pieces and there's simply no way- ahhhhh!!!!"

The private's scream alarmed the entire squad.

"Halverston, speak to me!"

"Oh goodness, me, I appear to have killed him!" chirped an idiotic,   
lethargic voice from the smoke. "I like this game, though, I must admit, I've   
an unfair advantage. Maybe it's only fair to mention, that I'm *immortal* and   
your guns won't kill me at all!"

"Don't fire yet," ordered Lt. McKintyre. She waited as the smoke and dust  
dissipated.

When the air cleared, she was taken aback by the sight of Barney. Only a   
mere skeleton remained, bloodied fragments of flesh clinging to the wide frame.   
Yet there he stood, chuckling and staring back at her. Halverston lay by his   
feet, his neck broken. Suddenly, at the snap of what was left of his fingers,   
chunks and slabs of flesh began flinging themselves back upon the giggling   
carcass. As if a film wound backwards, Barney suddenly regenerated, intact and  
without a scratch.

"Jesus," muttered McKintyre.

"Now if you'll excuse me," said Barney, " I need to teach Jeremy a very  
important lesson. " Before the astonished soldiers, Barney strolled over to  
where Baby Bop's body lay. He whistled at her head impaled against the  
ceiling, and it drifted gently off the stalactite and into his hands.

"Gosh Baby Bop, you look beat! You know, I'm feeling a mite tired myself,   
and can use a picker-upper".

Baby Bop's eyes bulged in surprise, she certainly appeared to understand   
what Barney meant, and she tried to scream. Only a whispy gurgle came out of   
the creature's mouth, and laughing merrily, Barney squeezed the head tightly  
between his hands.

Spores of energy began bursting in air, surrounding the fat bloated   
dinosaur. As Jeremy and the soldiers looked on, Baby Bop's head and body began   
to shudder spasmodically and shrivel. Within seconds they had caved in on   
themselves and disintegrated into dust. Barney sighed and gave a tremendous   
smile.

"Sorry about that, Baby Bop, but I thought a little extra life-force   
couldn't hurt at the moment," quipped Barney, shaking the excess dust off of   
his paws. "Boy do I feel sttuupppeenndddoouuusss!" he shouted in glee.

Jeremy stared at the fat bloated Beast of Purple in awe. He was so taken   
by the fantastic sight he couldn't move. The very next moment Barney grasped   
him by the collar and heaved him into the air with murderous strength and   
speed.

"Let's resume our flying lesson, shall we, Jeremy?"

Jeremy hit the ground, hard. He felt his chest heave and realized that   
some of his ribs were cracked. A sharp shooting pain shot through his upper   
chest. His hands instinctively pressed upon the area, whereupon he discovered   
that he had landed on an object in his pocket. He pulled it out. It was the   
curious shard Maca'hzar had given him a few nights before. Smooth and marbled   
on one side, rough and rippled on the inside. He remembered the words the   
weathered Loved One had spoken to him, that gave the clue for the shard's   
purpose:

"The mother shall break the cradle."

Jeremy had barely a moment to think upon this when Barney picked the man   
up by his heels and flung him through the air again. The force of the fall   
sent waves of pain through Jeremy's body, and he realized he hadn't much   
longer.

"Lieutenant, can't we do anything to help him?" asked a patrolmen.

"I don't know, I really don't know!" snapped McKintyre. She was   
exasperated at the futility of the situation. Chances were that the Purple   
Demon was unstoppable. The idea made her cold and frightened inside. "It's   
between them," she mumbled.

"Gosh, Jeremy, you sure are a slow learner. I'd think you'd be flying   
high and mighty, like a bluebird of happiness. Let's try to make you fly just   
_one more time_." The purple dinosaur began shuffling towards the injured man.

Jeremy began crawling towards the deep shaft in the center of the cavern   
area. Maca'hzar had called it a Dimensional Chamber, was it this that would   
help him destroy Barney? The stocky reptile's footsteps were closing in.

"Dad! Dad! Get away from there! He's on you!" shrieked Stacy, as she   
and Mark struggled to help their father. The two children were held back by  
several soldiers.

Jeremy clutched the shard between his scraped fingers. He'd seen   
something like this before. If only he could remember where from. He looked   
up into the dead, evil gaze of Barney. The creature leant towards him,   
prepared to fling him through the air again, but stopped.

Barney had noticed the shard.

"Where did you get that?" he bellowed. "Give that here, give it to me!"

Jeremy paused. Whatever the shard was, it scared Barney. Did it have   
some power over Barney? Was it connected with his primordial origin? Then the  
realization flashed across Jeremy's wracked mind. He immediately knew what it  
was.

It was a piece of eggshell. A dinosaur eggshell, petrified and preserved.

Barney flung himself upon Jeremy, the sheer weight causing Jeremy to cry   
out in intense agony. The Purple Destroyer of Worlds clutched and clawed for   
the shard, yet Jeremy held on with all of his might. The two beings wrestled   
near the mouth of the shaft. McKintyre and several of the patrolmen carefully   
aimed their weapons at Barney, firing in a desperate hope of immobilizing the   
fat, frantic dinosaur. While their aim held true, Barney fought on in a horrid  
frenzy. Jeremy was almost dead.

Something about the chamber, Maca'hzar hinted at its powers before.   
Barney feared the shard, what could it do? Jeremy, in a final, random act of  
desperation, fought his arm free of the Purple Beast, and flung the shard down  
the shaft.

Barney's eyes bulged in raw, stark, terror. "_Noooooooo_!!!!"

The plum-colored lizard released Jeremy and dove into the shaft, in a   
hopeless effort to reclaim the shard. The chubby, repulsive beast plunged into   
the darkness, his scream echoing into eternity.

"Get him away from there, quick!" barked Lt. McKintyre. "Evans, call for   
a medic down here now!"

Several olive-clad soldiers ran to Jeremy's aid. The poor man was broken   
and bleeding, almost near dementia. One soldier felt his pulse and checked his  
eyes. "He's stable, but barely. Need to get him outta here quick,  
Lieutenant!"

Jeremy looked about him in dazed confusion. Strangers, surrounding him   
and barking orders left and right. In the distance, Stacy and Mark, crying and  
calling him. He thought that he saw Fran and Bill coming around a distant  
barricade, but then he felt the earth surge under him and suddenly the air  
turned sickly and violent again, and he prayed that soon the world would return  
to normal.....

"What the hell's going on?" yelled a private. The whole cavern began   
shaking. Stalactites began falling from the roof, and McKintyre noticed the   
shaft. Something was coming up it like a locomotive. Fast and powerful.

An explosion shattered the atmosphere, sending everyone off of their feet.  
Blinding, flashing light flickered throughout the cavern. As people began  
recovering their senses, they became immediately aware of another being in the  
cavern area. It was huge, and caused the ground to tremor below its feet.

McKintyre was the first to get a sharp, distinct look at it. It stood   
over twenty feet tall, upon two thick, powerful legs with immense talons. It's  
overall coloration was a mottled grey and green, and it rolled a large,  
muscular tail behind it. It's head was reptilian, with piercing yellow eyes  
and jagged long teeth. The brash lieutenant recognized what it was, but  
couldn't believe it was here.

It was a damn dinosaur. A tyrannosaurus rex.

The soldiers and Jeremy backed away from the gargantuan creature. Through   
the blinding light, one could see the dinosaur clutched something in its mouth.   
At first Jeremy thought it was a small hippopotamus or ox. But upon a closer  
look, he realized that he was wrong. The hapless prey was Barney.

The fat purple dinosaur screamed in terror and pain. Flailing wildly with   
his chubby arms, Barney pounded on the tyrannosaur's snout. If this bothered   
the dinosaur, it didn't show any sign of it. In fact, it clasped its teeth   
deeper into Barney's plump purple flesh, spraying ichor and steam into the damp   
cavern air. Barney's face wore an expression of incredible anguish and horror,   
an expression that unsettled Jeremy. As he watched, Barney ceased pounding on   
the tyrannosaur's snout and struggled to free himself from its jaws. This only  
enraged the dinosaur, and it shook Barney violently, tearing skin and bone from  
the plump reptile's body.

"Help me, oh please, someone help me!!!" shrieked Barney. "Stop it   
_Mother_, stop it!!!"

No one moved to help Barney. The crowd watched, enraptured in the ghastly  
spectacle before them. The tyrannosaur eyed its demonic spawn trapped  
helplessly in its titanic maw, feeling its hot blood cascade down its throat.  
She gained an unusual satisfaction from watching it thrash and struggle, and  
deep within her bestial mentality, she knew it was good. Another moment she  
pressed her upper teeth into its soft belly, disemboweling it. She guzzled the  
steamy intestines and watched the purple reptile cringe and shudder in shock.  
It was a slow, painful kill.

Even if there was something Jeremy or the soldiers could do to help   
Barney, it was too late now. The tyrannosaur began grinding him slowly and   
thoroughly with unforgiving might, and as the Beast of Purple began sinking   
under her razor-like teeth, he sobbed weakly, thick tears streaming down his   
face.

"....I love...you, you love....me...we're...a....oh...mother...how...could  
you..........mother..."

Moments later the mighty dinosaur roared in triumph, bloody purple strings   
of flesh and entrails dangling from its teeth. Suddenly there was a crack of  
lightning and the tyrannosaur and its prey were gone.

The crowd stared in confusion and awestruck silence. A team of medics   
came running into the chamber, and began administering aid to Jeremy. He was   
cold and sweaty, his eyes bloodshot and dilated. One of the doctors injected a   
clear solution into the broken man's arm.

"C'mon, Jeremy, pull through for us here," he said. Suddenly he saw   
Jeremy's lips move and he bent over to hear him. Upon hearing the patient's   
words, he sat upright with a puzzled look on his face. He signaled the   
remaining medics to take Jeremy back up to the surface and the team hastily   
carried Jeremy out of the cavern.

Lieutenant McKintyre walked over to the doctor. "Doc, why the strange   
look? What did he say?"

The doctor looked back at her. "I'm really not sure, lieutenant. Unless   
my ear's going out, would've sworn he said, 'cradle broken'".

* * * * * * * *


	9. Epilogue

Jeremy Phillips suffered multiple injuries, internal and external, and   
when he arrived at the hospital, the surgeon made no promises. The next five   
hours he and his team worked to save the man's life, as Fran, Lana, the   
children, and Bill watched in unbearable suspense. Pints of blood were ushered   
in, and finally the surgeon appeared from the operating room. Chances were   
good Jeremy would pull through.

The story of Jeremy's ordeal with the Beast of Purple spread worldwide.   
Many had seen the horrid broadcast emitted from Barney's subterranean studio,   
and it was unlikely the bloated dinosaur would ever make a comeback again.   
Letters and flowers arrived from all sections of the globe to Jeremy's hospital   
room, and he was never short of visitors.

Lana came in and visited her husband frequently, as did Fran. Jeremy   
often asked about Stacy and Mark, Lana said that treatment had just begun and   
it would be about a week before the children could come and visit their father.  
The kids had been severly traumatized by the entire ordeal and would be in  
therapy for quite some time. The news didn't bother Jeremy, he knew it could  
have been a lot worse. And he knew they loved him, which helped him sleep at  
night.

Fran was doing alright, she didn't think there was any need for therapy on   
her part. She had her housework and boyfriend to keep her occupied, just the  
thought that the squalid Purple Demon had met his end made her well. Once  
Jeremy was out of the hospital, she promised him dinner at her apartment.

Bill checked on Jeremy twice a day, and updated him on the development of  
"Chester Owl and Friends". They found a suiting candidate to take the part,  
and recording would begin in just two weeks. Would Jeremy like to be the first  
guest of the new season? Jeremy laughed and told Bill to get home, he'd  
consider the offer.

It was on the night before Jeremy's release when he awoke in the middle of   
the night, to discover his window had been pried open. The curtains billowed   
in the room, and he became aware of an unearthly presence beside him. His hand  
clutched for the signal button that would alert the evening nurse, but it was  
gone. When a scaly, taloned hand rested upon his shoulder, Jeremy gasped.

"Jeremy Phillips, I took you for a human of stronger nerve".

The startled man breathed a sigh of relief. It was Maca'hzar.

"God, man, do you have to make that kind of entrance?"

"Only to remain undiscovered, my friend." The Loved One turned on a small  
table light, illuminating his distinguished reptilian features. He gazed a  
steely stare into Jeremy's eyes, his slivered black eyes shrinking to thin  
crescents in the bright glow of the light. He smiled, revealing a row of  
yellow, jagged teeth.

"If it wasn't for you, Maca'hzar, we'd all be dead," whispered Jeremy.   
"Barney would've started another age of conquest."

"Perhaps," replied the gaunt, sinewy creature. "As I am of his flesh and  
blood, my sorcery would've been ineffective against him. A human, pure of soul  
and resilience, would prove his ultimate undoing. In that light, Jeremy  
Phillips, I owe gratitude to you."

"What's going to become of you?" asked Jeremy.

"I will leave this world and travel among the planes," replied Maca'hzar,  
cradling his jewel encrusted staff. "I have no need of this world for the  
moment. I will return time and time again, to check on you and several  
others."

"Others? Like who?"

"The one you call Fran."

Jeremy hesitated. "My sister? What ever for, I didn't think you had any  
particular concern for her."

"I hold a great deal of concern for her, Jeremy Phillips. Largely why I   
sought to help you, so you could protect her from the Purple One's devices."   
He saw that Jeremy was confused. He scrunched his scaly brow. "Jeremy, do you  
remember the nurseries? What they did to those young human females during the  
time known as the Purple Holocaust?"

Jeremy remembered. Young girls, upon hitting the early stages of   
maturity, were impregnated by the Beast of Purple, later to give birth to the   
dreaded gibbering creatures largely referred to as the Loved Ones. The birth   
was violent and usually fatal, as the infants tended to claw their way out of   
the mother's stomach upon the beginning contractions. But he failed to see how  
this would connect Maca'hzar to his sister.

"Jeremy," said the hoary Loved One, "I always wondered if you would be   
ready for this knowledge. By the time your sister had hit her maturity, Barney   
had devised a new way to breed his servants. The old process was wasteful, he   
was losing potential mothers one to every Loved One born. He sought out new   
ways to spawn his kin, and turned to the abandoned technologies of your former  
world. Fran Phillips was the first one he used the knowledge on. Her body and  
mind had begun the essential maturity, and it wasn't long before the Beast of  
Purple encountered success. A Loved One embryo was conceived, outside the womb  
with no risk to either parent....."

"A test-tube baby," said Jeremy. "God Maca'hzar, you mean to tell me   
you're Fran's-"

"It is best that she not know," replied the scaly acolyte. "The egg was  
extracted from her while she slept. Within seven months the gestation had been  
complete. But by this time, you had destroyed Barney's first incarnation and  
the rage he and his servants felt for you was directed upon me. Child of the  
Great Liberator's sister. They spared my life only to curse and humiliate me.  
But in time they realized I was above them in intelligence and power, where  
upon I was cast out to live the rest of my days, alone. Whence upon I  
developed my powers."

The two beings sat in silence. Jeremy didn't know what to say. Maca'hzar  
smiled at the human, and lowered his staff.

"We may meet again, Jeremy Phillips," said the Loved One. "Whether or not   
we do, I will leave this with you. It is yours forever, to remember the trials  
you've endured." He clasped a smooth, egg-shaped dome of amethyst atop the  
staff and twisted it off the head of the heavy stick. He placed it into  
Jeremy's hands and stared into the young man's eyes. "You watch over her, and  
live well."

Moments later Maca'hzar climbed out of the window and disappeared into the  
gentle stillness of the night.

Jeremy looked down at the amethyst jewel he held. It was beautiful. He   
raised it up to the light and suddenly winced. There was an object encased in   
the center, somewhat stocky and reptilian. Upon a closer look he saw that it   
was a purple dinosaur, frozen in an expression of agony and terror. Its mouth   
was wide open, screaming a silent scream, forever......


End file.
